


I Take The Fall

by Hexworthy



Series: Kolivance AU Event 2018 [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Pining, Regeith, Role Reversal AU, Smut, i hurt all 3 feelings, kolivance - Freeform, kolivance au event, kolivanceauevent, major chatracter death, staying together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-21 19:02:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15564393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexworthy/pseuds/Hexworthy
Summary: Role reversal AU for the Kolivance AU Event!!Small changes in history can shake the world, especially when it involves the human race taking over the universe. Voltron had been fighting the Empire of Humankind for centuries with marginal success. Then Lance met Kolivan, and well, what ensued no one could really predict.





	1. Left Behind, So We Were Born To Die.

**Author's Note:**

> As said this is a role reversal and a monster of a fic, especially for me. This came as a bit of a challenge and then I got the plot, I just hope it lives up. And thank you to PurpleSpaceMom who was my wonderful beta!!!!

There were small things in history that changed the world, Edison hadn't taken credit for Tesla’s designs and was disgraced as a fraud. The space program was advanced as Russia did not engage in what would have been dubbed the cold war. However the Third World War happened. Then The Great Resource Wars. The goal of humanity became space exploration as they turned to the stars in the new age of peace. They realised they were good at it and by the end of that century, Earth had become an empire. It stretched across the known galaxies, into the universe. Further than anyone had thought possible, especially when technologies stolen from other races were used. 

That was the problem with humans. They were resourceful and hard to kill. They still carried on no matter what. They had the advantage over everyone else due to their adaptability to new situations. What would have killed most species only mildly affected mankind. They were a virus that crept across the galaxy, and all that was wrong with humanity swiftly followed. It came as no surprise when the empire had been established. 

Two hundred years later, Lance was born, the lowest of the low. Left on Earth and abandoned by his kind. He never saw any of the wealth of the empire, and from a young age he resented his position in life and the empire. Then the first space ship was shot down. The Empire didn't care about earth and just let it fall, complacent in the notion that there would be no survivors. Until one walked from the wreckage. 

One Galra. One of the few species who were putting up a fight, along with the Alteans. He helped the man out of the wreckage. At sixteen, Lance had suffered his own hardships, and the Galra mustn't have been any older than him. Lance nursed him back to health and made sure that any soldiers that came by never noticed the guy with the purple scales and prehensile tail. After a while, he trusted Lance with his name. Antok became his friend and they grew close, then Antok became his best friend until he couldn’t keep him from his destiny. 

However, the mission to send him back went wrong. So terribly wrong. A soldier came along, and Lance knocked Antok out because he wanted to stay to protect Lance. He managed to shove Antok in a makeshift pod and set the oscillator in the guidance system. The hope was to send him to a random patch of space with a distress beacon to be seen only by the resistance, a team called Voltron. Except that soldier managed to shoot one of the engines as the pod took off, causing an explosion that Lance used to shoot the pod into space.

However the blast knocked Lance back, his back was torn to shreds, and if he wasn't found by Hunk, he would have been dead for sure. For all intents and purposes he was now dead. His family mourned for him, believing there was nothing left of him. It was safer. 

He had a cybernetic spine attached, Hunk and a brilliant engineer named Pidge managed to connect it so he was could carry on the fight. All five of them needed everyone they could get - rebels those days were few and far between. He shared his physio with an ex pilot, by the name of Shiro, who got too close to the truth of the Empire and was experimented on and cast down to Earth. He was followed by Keith, a cadet and certainly a brother in arms, who had always had his misgivings. 

They became their own unit, the resistance on earth. The only resistance. Most rebellions were cut down before they had even begun, but they started to grow, the five of them being the heads. And Lance was _the_ sniper. They all had their roles, and if Lance could do one thing, he could shoot and go unnoticed. Despite how he acted in the few moments where they could relax, he was patient and still and had the unnerving ability to not be seen if he didn't want to. 

As the years went by, Lance and his friends saw their resistance and subsequent cells grow with every passing week. Their cells were mostly disconnected to the other cells and members and only answered to one of the five. For every cell that went down, a further four were ready. They all had their narrow escapes over the years. Shiro had issues with the arm and now worked on the base while it was being remade by Pidge and Hunk, who had cemented themselves as their engineers. Pidge’s brother had also managed to contact them over the years after his sister being told that missing in action for the majority of that time. He made himself their medic because they all had “Sacrificial tendencies”, “No survival instincts at all” and “Unhealthy lack of respect for tomorrow”. 

They all knew the risks, the consequences, and above all, the mission came first. It had to. In the long run, the people they were saving, the regime they were fighting mattered more. The Empire of Humankind wasn't going to stop for them to recover and mourn their losses. They just couldn't afford to, time waited for none of them. Death was an inevitability in the rebellion business. 

And then it happened.


	2. Hate Me, Break Me, Save Me.

Lance’s pod soared through the stars. It reminded him of when he was a kid, when he knew no better and dreamed of traversing the stars. That was before the rude awakening. The talk all people left on Earth had to have with their kids, why they were on Earth and not among the stars. 

He couldn't lose focus now though. He had a mission. His cell was waiting for his commands. He always played the long game and now the end was here. He wouldnt fail, he _couldnt_ fail. 

He set the autopilot to return to the base, and then jumped out to free fall. He angled himself down and prayed that his altimeter was actually working this time around. He didn't think the metal work on his spine could handle another high impact landing. He felt the wind against his face and braced for landing when he engaged the suit’s thruster pack as close to the ground as he could. His team should have been in position by now. 

He took cover by the barrels and toxic waste as he set up his rifle. It was practically an antique. It didn't run on laser technology like everyone else's, but he found it easier to control and easier to get supplies for. Laser crystals were few and far between when one has been abandoned on Earth, as well as any Empire dumping ground, and left to die. 

He was surprised that the Empire still had outposts here, but they had to control Earth's population he guessed. The Empire ruled them with through fear, taking ideas from all three world wars. Most of them lived in work camps and provided the last remaining resources Earth had to offer. Their lives. 

It was one such camp that the military base was set on. It was their flagship camp and conditions here were one of the most brutal and the atrocities that were commited were beyond comparison. He could smell the stench. It made his eyes water. He was glad that Cuba was considered uninhabitable. That they had made it a safe haven, among other forgotten places. 

He waited till the moon was at its highest and the commander of the base had begun his walk to the pods. He had been ready and he took the shot, just as other people around the place crumpled to the ground. 

Now came the hard part. Getting out. The alarm sounded, and the force fields were raised, the visible blue highlighting the pulsations as the generators kept everyone in, and then the explosions happened. Screams of pain and fear came from the far end, where all the prisoners were. Those who were there simply because they were born. 

Lance scaled the building he was on and ran to the edge. Despite how advanced their technology had become as a species, they still had chinks. Lance knew where one such chink was and headed to it. However, he couldn't hide completely with the light all the explosions caused around him. 

“There, get them!” yelled a nearby soldier, then then the sound of laser blasts echoed through the compound. He felt the heat from them as the shots whizzed by, somehow striking anything but him. He was lucky the guards chasing him had obviously little experience in striking long range and moving targets. When he came to the forcefield, he shot an emp pulse at the generator near by causing a small opening. He ran through and just in time. One further explosion and the entire base was in flame and disintegrating. 

He ran for the hills.

He took one look back. The base and camp were mostly gone, a massive crater remaining where it had once been. Flames burned bright on the human remains, and the smell of smoke and burning hair hung in the air. The smell of death, one that followed Lance everywhere. 

There was a pain in his back as he laid hidden in the rocks. The Empire would send a fleet to investigate. He could feel the pain the metal caused against his muscles under his skin. His scar was pulled taut as the skin tensed as well. He wanted to have a shower. He just had to wait for a pod to pick him up.

Then the sky ignited. 

Flame covered the sky burning the atmosphere as a craft also engulfed in fire came crashing down. Then it hit the ground. Even from where he was, he heard the boom and saw the smoke plume, shielding his eyes from the blinding light. It was like an atomic bombs had been dropped. 

His pod mercifully arrived a few hours later, and he clambered in, setting his course for the crater, wondering if there was anything to salvage. 

“Lance to Base, come in, over,” he spoke into the comms systems, and he was glad when a reply came back almost immediately. 

“Base to Lance, Shiro speaking. Over.”

“I’m safe, base exploded and expect a fleet coming soon. We need to be under. Also, I’m going to investigate that ship that fell before the Empire can mobilise. Hopefully we aren't worth the bother. Over.”

“That's fine, be careful and don't take any unnecessary risks. We want you back. Keith wouldn't last a day without you teasing him. Over.”

“Loud and clear, Shiro. I'm getting visuals on the site, no signs of empire involvement. One ship and a very large crater. Landing in the crater. Over.”

“I will alert the others. Just remember, we all love you. Just...come back, we can't lose you. You’re family. Out.” Shiro’s voice was reassuring but Lance knew Shiro too well, late nights spent trying to calm each other from nightmares and panic attacks. Lance knew concern and worry in Shiro’s voice. It was there, laced under all the calm. He knew Shiro would be hovering around the radio comms units until he called back in again.

“I love you all too. Out.” Lance sighed. He wanted nothing more than to go back to Hunk’s waiting arms so he could come to terms with the lives he had just taken. He wanted the teasing Keith gave to help distract each other. He wanted to be around his family, both through blood and the one he had found. 

He landed the pod in an area that was relatively free of flame, the fire burning different colours from the irregular compounds that were burning merrily to a crisp. He pulled out the dual laser pistols he kept at his sides and made sure his sniper rifle was in reach too. He approached the ship and suddenly the door hissed and blew open. Black smoke billowed out and along with it, a large figure struggled to emerge, gripping onto whatever they could to get the support.

The first thing Lance noticed was the purple fur and long silver braid that hung down off the figure’s head. Then how tall the figure was, as they rose to their full height, towering over Lance easily. He took aim as he approached. He had no idea if this person was an agent of the empire or someone like Antok. Gods, he hoped Antok was safe. He had suffered a lot and he deserved to have a holiday. So did he and the others but they weren't going to get it anytime soon. They would be fighting to their dying days. 

“Identify yourself,” he ordered, one of his pistols trained on what he could only assume was a Galra. Lance hoped that he would be like the other Galra he had encountered but didn’t hold his breath.

Silence was the stern reply, but the galran man drew a blade that had an insignia on the handle. 

“A Galra?” Lance heard himself whisper. A mistake, his disbelief landed him on his back being pinned to the floor by the immense wall of muscle. 

“Who are you?” The man growled, holding the blade to his throat. If he was gonna die at least it wouldn't have been in vain, he had done something right in his life. Even if fighting his life fighting the Empire, there was only so much they could do. At least if he were to die, it would be protecting his friends and helping those he found.

“I asked, who are you?!” and the blade started to pierce his skin. 

“Lance,” he hissed out but he felt the blade go slack, and it was all he needed. He brought his legs up to wrap around the body and used the man's surge forwards to slip by them. He quickly made his distance and brought out his rifle. 

“I can pull the trigger and the bullet will kill you faster than you can move. I wouldn't try it. Now, who are you?”

“Kolivan. I hope the name Antok means something.”

Lance managed to keep his face neutral as he heard that name, and fear shivered down his neves as he heard the very recognisable sound of Empire ships entering the atmosphere. 

“It does. Now quick, follow me if you want to live.” He scampered away without waiting for a reply. Time was of the essence and he was already a wanted man. The best marksman Earth had ever seen? Yeah, the Empire wanted his head badly, and aiding all the refugees that escaped them just kept increasing their rage and thirst for his blood to be spilled at their feet. 

He sat in front of the controls and heard the door hiss and a rustle of clothing as Kolivan sat down at the back of the pod. Lance felt exposed. He hated having his back to anyone, one misstep or wrong move and he wouldn't be able to do anything. He flew back to Cuba in silence. He wanted to know if Antok was ok, hell, he had an influence on how they had their uniforms made and designed, offering ideas and technologies beyond what the Abandoned could ever have thought imaginable. Damn, he missed Antok and the small smiles and the fluffy ears. He missed his friend. 

“Lance to Base, anyone receiving. Over,” he said softly, not wanting to let Kolivan hear him. 

“Shiro to Lance, receiving clear, How far away are you? Over,” and damn, Shiro’s calm voice felt like water flooding over him, the rock that they all clung to. 

“About another hour, flying over the gulf now, I have one passenger from the crash site. Another galra. Remember Antok? Over,”

“Yes, I do, we will talk about this later, have you got your mask up? Over.” He had taken it off. He was clad in dark blue that hugged his body, designed for stealth and causing disruption of his shadow. The mask however was terrifying. Just a blank space with no option for facial features, but acted as a one way mirror, Pidge had designed the material so that he could see out with no issues at all but no one would see in. 

“Yes, I have not let anything known, just my name. I'm raising the screens soon so he won't be able to relay our positions. Over,”

“Be safe ok? We’ll see you soon and get your spine checked over. Out.”

The comms clicked as the connection broke. He raised the force field that connected the flight controls and the rest of the pod and set it into blackout mode. 

Mercifully the trip was plain sailing. The usual warning alert went off as they passed the “radioactive” zones and passed through the tertiary barriers with ease. Hunk had the bright idea to make it almost sentient, given the choice to let who it trusted through, even though it would sometimes decide to play pranks when there was no times of need. 

“Hey girl, I’m home,” he said to the space as home came into view. Admittedly some of it was flooded and underwater, but families lived here without fear from all over the universe. Both of _his_ families were here. He sighed as he started to feel the heat permeate through the metal of the pod and felt its familiar warmth as if the sun was kissing his skin through the suit.

Ugh, the first thing he was going to do was change out of the stealth suit. He desperately wanted to be in the one he wore around the base and his home. It was so much better. But that would have to wait. He landed with practised ease and escorted Kolivan out, his hands on his pistols just in case. 

The other four members of their resistance had their masks up, each in the same simple uniform but subtle changes to suit them. They had a load of distortion lines and glowing areas to help confuse any facial recognition systems. The most notable were the glowing circles on their faces. 

He lead the way while Kolivan followed in silence, clearly on edge as patches of fur stood on end, vulnerable and without weapons, communication or back up. Lance knew that feeling well but ignored it in favour of getting him somewhere secure, just in case he was an agent for the Empire. 

Shiro and Hunk took charge of Kolivan as they met him, giving Lance a nod and walking away. Keith and Pidge let down their masks as did Lance. He breathed in deeply, glad to breathe in the air unfiltered. The air always felt better when it wasn’t filtered through the suit’s mask. 

“You ok?” Keith asked. Despite their very rocky start in the first year of their cause, they had become close friends who could lean on each other. He had also been the first person he had introduced Antok to. 

“I don't know. I lost my entire cell. The Empire had rigged the camp to explode. We factored that in but not how fast they would react, and then this galra falls from the sky? I don't know. It feels all too convenient. But they were us in there. The ones who were unlucky, The Abandoned, just not lucky enough for us to find and save them.” 

Lance cared too much. He tried to reduce collateral damage but today had been among the worst. He could deal with killing the people who were causing pain and strife. They were not the issue. It was the people who were caught in the crossfire, their only crimes that they had the audacity to even exist and the bad luck to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Those were the people he mourned. His war hardened heart was still large enough to care for and mourn the deaths he couldn't prevent. After all, he wasn't just their sharpshooter, he was also the main strategist. 

Keith’s arm went around him, embracing him in a hug he kinda needed. The whole day was stressful and he just wanted to curl up, but first there was the interrogation. He would shower and change and watch as Keith, with the help of Pidge, worked out what was a fiction and what was the stone cold truth. 

_I work with Voltron_

_My ship crashed after it was attacked by the Empire._

_I told you I work with Voltron_

_Of course there's lions and their pilots, I am used for stealth, for intel  
I got Lance to trust me I don't know how_

_I told you I don't know!!!_

_Antok_

__

Lance looked up from the transcript and massaged his temples. He had no idea what was happening but Lance was reckless and all he knew was that Antok had trusted him enough to tell him about Lance. He made his decision and didn't even bother running it past the others. Keith and Pidge did their own shit all the time, so for the second time, so did he. 

He stalked down the holding area looking for the only Galra held there. He placed his hand on the lock and walked into the room. They weren't like the empire. There were the creature comforts and privacy, just a door locked from the outside. 

Kolivan calmly looked in his direction and then back to the wall, stoic and silent. Lance let the door close and relaxed his stance. Despite all the shit he had gone through, he truly was a kind hearted soul when it really mattered. Keith and Pidge together were, well, intense. And he still had unanswered questions he felt he needed answers for. 

“Did the others want more information? I told them everything. I only kept back Antok until I had to, and only gave his name. What else do you want? My life, my entire being and then more? What makes you guys better than the Empire then?”

“We built this on trust of each other, hope for a better future, and an idea that is worth the fight, our lives ultimately. It's already taken many things from me, same for anyone who fights and stands with us.”

“I lost my homeworld, my parents, my everything. Voltron offered me hope and a life in their fight. They’ve done more good than you ever have, would or ever will do. You’re all cowards just fighting on this planet. You’ve done nothing at all.” Kolivan spat. And Lance felt anger, regret and an unavoidable sadness swirl within him. 

“Dont judge us before you’ve walked a lifetime in our shoes,” he spoke calmly but dripping with the barely veiled emotions he felt. “I came to offer you something but it seems you’d rather go back. We will prep the hypnosis then.”

He walked out and locked the door. 

He didn't sleep well that night. His spine was killing him as the metal rubbed against his muscle and ached as the damp got to it. Then there were the nightmares. Always the nightmares. The people he couldn't save, what the empire did to him, how he would never be able to play his part. Kolivan’s words had hit deeper than he would admit even to himself.

After one particularly bad night terror, he woke up in a cold sweat and decided there was no way in hell he was going back to sleep that night. He washed off his mask and walked to the training deck of their home. He nodded at Keith who was sparring with Shiro as he made his way to the ranges. None of his cells were here now, all on their missions. Either under deep cover or on a stealth mission. 

He took out his pistols and started his deadly dance till the sun rose, and carried on as the sun followed its path. That was, until Hunk managed to get him in the mess hall to finally eat something. Hunk, sweet wonderful Hunk, knew something was up. 

“So, they say Kolivan will only talk to you. Why?”

“Antok probably and the fact that I think it's better if we had him where we can see him.”

“None of us really know what happened. All we can really figure out was that you were close and you helped him get back.”

“Hunk, you can't tell this to anyone. Promise me.”

“I promise, no one but you.”

“Thanks, so you know I pulled him from the wreckage but he was barely conscious and I did everything I could to save him, so to keep him here I talked. And he listened and added his own. He told me of the stars and I helped him and he helped me. He gave me hope that I wasn't just sitting and wasting my time. He cared, he became my brother in arms I guess.” There was so much left unsaid as well but Hunk filled in the gaps, how Antok became the older brother Lance needed at that time in his life, when he didn't know if his own was even alive. 

“Thank you Lance, like I’m still here if you want to talk you know?”

“I just don't want to bother you. I can't always burden others with my issues and you're always busy. You have Pidge and Keith and just everyone else. I’m meant to be kept out the way.” Whatever he was going to say was snuffed out the instant Hunk’s arms closed him in.

“Lance, dont you dare think that again, yes you can be loud but when you’re away our home feels less like a home. You're no less important than me. You become an equalizer for everyone, you are an amazing strategist and I’ve never seen someone as quick thinking as you. You may not have the scientific smarts, but you have other smarts. Remember that. Took me a while too but I’m here for you.”

“I don't think I say this enough, but I love you, I love you all so much,”

“I know, I do too. And, our families are safe, I think there's a visitation day coming up that you should be here for. I know Veronica will be glad to see you again. Same with Marco and Luis, and don't get me started on Mama Martinez.”

Lance let out a small laugh. His mother had basically adopted them all. 

“Thanks,” He smiled and for the first time in too long, he felt some sort of contentment. “I’m off to see Kolivan then.”

Soon enough he was in the holding room again, Kolivan standing over him, but Lance knew more than he did the day before. He may not have been as physically imposing but damn, he was a leader of the resistance and by hells he was going to act like one. 

“You're back, pathetic whelp.”

“So like it or not you're here in a holding room, and there's two options: go and have no memory of this place or come with me and help us. We can help Voltron when we can, know what not to hit. Because you guys miss the one thing that the Empire has. Us. We know humanity. How do you think we got so big in one generation?”

Kolivan’s shock was evident. They haven't made much of an impact because they really were still in their first generation. Angry adolescents who were forced to grow up too early and fighting the fight no one else would. 

“Save it Kolivan, I just need an answer. Of course there will be terms but they will be fair. You will have freedom to roam our home as you please and talk to who you want. You aren't the only non Earthen here. You can communicate back to voltron. However, you will not sell our secrets, you won't betray our trust, and I will essentially be your first point of contact for everything. You will be allowed to have access to your basic utilities, and you will have a stipend so you can support yourself. Most of all you will be safe. All we ask is that you trust us and don't betray the trust we are extending to you.”

Lance knew this was more than Kolivan probably deserved, but he was the bigger person. He wanted to end the war and to help. Here was a way to do so. 

“I accept. Can we discuss the terms in detail, and write them as a contract? In duplicate. It is unwise to trust you. The young and naive always fall first.”

Lance let the tone and words go, not wishing to engage in a fight and agreed. He had thought of it already.

 

Lance led Kolivan to his new quarters: more space, more amenities, and a wall away from Lance. He had been given a brief tour of the base and Lance silently slipped out so Kolivan had the space and privacy to sort through the clothes he had been provided. 

The next time Lance saw Kolivan was as he entered the mess hall. He did have to bend down considerably to cross the threshold, which Lance sniggered at, and despite all the interactions he had had, it was adorable. Objectively, Kolivan wasn't bad to look at. He couldn't have been more than thirty and after nine years of fighting since the age of sixteen, Lance was tired and he just wanted to feel what it should be like to be twenty five and all that shit. 

But he was scarred and had a cybernetic spine and had more issues than most people. No one deserved to be stuck with all that. 

He watched as Kolivan chatted away to a species he couldn't quite remember. He was pretty sure he was an Olkari though, a species that Pidge really digged. Lance was already sat at _their_ table and soon, the other four joined him. They weren't really surprised by the presence of Kolivan. They knew if Lance did something as big as this, then there was a real reason for it. 

“He’s going to be with me for any missions and communications that require us. I’m allowing him to contact his friends. It's not fair to be separated from them.” A silent agreement that they all shared. “But he is not to tell them anything about us, only that he is safe and to just talk about the shit he needs to in order to cope.”

“I take it there’s a contract?” Shiro asked and looked visibly relieved when Lance nodded. 

“Why do you trust him? Should we?” Keith added, easily one of the most suspicious of people and an absolute godsend when it came to people. He could sniff bullfuckery from a mile away, he may have been socially inept once, but he had grown since the early days. They all had - not always in the best ways either.

“As far as I can throw him. At the moment, it’s mutual survival. He’s technically in Empire territory now. Also Antok seemed to trust him. I trusted Antok once and it worked out. Who’s to say it won't happen again?”

It was enough for them, and the conversation evolved. They soon moved to their room to discuss their next move. 

The night passed as it usually did. He only woke up three times. 

The week passed with little fanfare, the only thing of note was that Kolivan had contacted Voltron, who had began work on a secure connection for them to speak. And each and every night nightmares plagued Lance, and he was in the training room hours before dawn. Sometimes Kolivan left his room and gave him updates but he kept to himself. 

Until they finally made contact with Voltron. Kolivan had been in the control room getting the frequency right and the screen had fizzled into life for the first time in many many years. By now they had all migrated to the room. Lance made sure to flank the others but remained out of sight. It was always best to have that wildcard. 

“Allura, Coran? Can you hear me?” Koivan spoke into the static. 

“...ivan?”

“Allura? Hang on, let me tune it further.” He fiddled a bit and the static cleared up.

“Kolivan, do you have a visual? Are you safe? We got your messages but please let us hear your voice.”

“No visuals, this place is primitive and just, look, they want to speak to you, something about an alliance. Just please, get me home.”

His words hurt deep, and the group all looked to each other, then at Lance. Lance was done. He had done his best but Kolivan kept an enforced distance that they were all more than happy to keep. He sighed and nodded at Shiro, the unspoken _we will take care of it._ Usually this meant Shiro and Keith took the reigns, the others left as enigmas. Lance was almost never included, safer for him to pull the strings. 

“Kolivan, please introduce us,” Shiro instructed, he tone calm but authoratitve. 

“Yes, of course,” Kolivan sneered back, his disdain obvious. “Princess Allura, Shirogane is the leader of this “resistance” who is keeping me.”

“Your Highness, we have not kept Kolivan prisoner. He has been accommodated as a guest in our base and been allowed the basic rights he was entitled to and more.” Shiro explained calmly, the perfect image of diplomacy. 

“How do we know this? How can we trust you when you refuse to show us your faces?” Allura asked, thinly veiled hatred dripping poison with every word. 

“We are on Earth, not a space station. We get what we can. We don’t have the luxury of vast amounts of planets ready to align themselves with us. We are hated universally. We came offering peace and this is how we are treated? No wonder we’ve never shown ourselves,” Keith retorted. Lance felt the same. They had tried and failed. 

“If you have nothing kind to say we might as well go. C'mon guys.” Shiro’s disappointed tone cut through them and started to usher them away for their own safety, “Just, if you're sending a team, please be discreet. There’s more at stake than you know at our base.”

Lance was the last to leave and as he sent a look at Kolivan, he knew a thing or two about homesickness and it was evident in the way Kolivan held himself. Lance just wanted to give him a bit of support, despite the knowledge it would be rebuffed. He turned and wasn't noticed as he slipped out of the room. 

That night was the worst he had in years. He was screaming as he woke up, his throat raw and the worst part was that he remembered every part of his dream in all its vivid detail. He didn't even try to stop the tears as he cocooned himself in the meager sheets that covered the thin mattress. 

He wasn't surprised when no one came, not even Kolivan whose bed was next to his wall. 

He wasn't surprised when Kolivan said that a ship was coming for him within the week at their morning meal in the mess hall. 

He wasn't surprised to find that he sort of cared. 

He wasn't surprised when sleep paralysis caught him in its claws. He wiggled his toes and fingers trying to be free off the nails that clawed at his skin, the sword that hung over his head and the figures closed in, waiting to take his life. He closed his eyes and hoped and prayed to the gods and hells who would never answer that it would end soon. 

He felt movement return to his feet and he dared to open his eyes and saw that there was nothing there. The door to his room was rattling, and he was glad that he had locked it. 

“Lance?”

In a million years he never expected that voice to be at his door. He tentatively got up and unlocked the door and allowed it to slide open. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt as small as he did standing in front of Kolivan. He was weak and pathetic really. He wanted to turn but he stood there and looked down at the floor. 

“Sorry, I’ll leave you be, you don't have to bother,” he mumbled and dejectedly moved back to the bed.

“Lance, I’m.. I… How can I help?”

Lance almost lost it. 

“Help?” he scoffed somehow finding his courage. “You called me weak, pathetic and worse. You’ve said the same about my friends and family. I trust you to save yourself so why are you here?”

“I thought, that, you know, the nightmares. I thought I should check up on you at least.”

 _That_ stumped him. Why did he care? Lance told Kolivan as much too. He just wanted to go to the ranges and ignore everything as he started the way he meant to continue. Alone. 

“Because no one has to suffer alone.” Lance thought back to when Antok was here, how he explained that the Galra were a pack species, and how he had sort of made Lance part of his own small pack. He was definitely preferring Antok over Kolivan in terms of Galra he had met. But he was touched by the fact Kolivan had even thought about him. 

“I’ve always been alone, Kolivan. Go back to bed.”

“You asked me to trust you and for you as a collective to trust me. Now you trust me. Let me help.” 

He nodded and allowed Kolivan entry into his room. He moved and shifted on his bed, trying to get comfortable, trying to make it look as if his shit was together. 

“Are you ok to be touched?” Kolivan asked with a surprising softness, almost as if he cared. He nodded, and damn he wanted to be held and feel safe again, even from his mind. Lance let himself be picked up and essentially be spooned in the immense warmth that was Kolivan. His braid tickled the back of Lance’s neck. He felt safe and exhausted enough to fall asleep almost immediately. 

However, when he woke that morning, Kolivan was gone and no evidence was left to show that he had ever been there. Lance sighed and went about to the mess hall. 

But things changed, small things at first. Kolivan acknowledged him, then the others. He took an interest in things and after a week of no altean crafts arriving, he started to help Lance in training with hand to hand combat. He had Lance’s back when he had to go on an extraction mission to provide cover. 

Then after one hard, long mission where the Empire had taken a refugee craft captive, and some hard decisions later, Kolivan placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder and offered him a small, rare smile.

“I may have misjudged you sweet one.”


	3. I's Like It Never Ends.

Kolivan had been talking to Allura and the paladins. He missed them. He missed his friends and he missed being in space. He couldn't lie and say he loved Earth. He hated the dirty air, the whole idea that they were hiding and doing everything on the sly. He would also admit that he had misjudged them, they were fighting and they were still in their first generation. These were kids fighting a war, they fought with such passion and fire because they thought it was right. Maybe this was the humanity the Empire was always going on about, but he knew that to be false. Humanity was evil, an urge to take and take and take and never give back. 

He knew that a pod was on its way and arriving in the next day. Earth ran on a different time compared to the time they used in space. The translation between the times got confusing and earth time was faster, so it felt like a longer wait. 

But something was still nagging at him despite the urge to leave this place. A tall lithe man who had seen something in him worth the trust he was given. Who screamed in the night but always had the time to be kind to anyone he met. Who seemed to have caught his eye despite the rocky start. He now saw why Antok had said if he ever made it to Earth, to find Lance. 

Kolivan was so grateful when he had initially heard he could contact Voltron. It meant he could talk to Antok. He missed his best friend and his comforting touch. Galra, despite their own tendencies to argue against it, were a pack species. They thrived on touch and reassurances. Touch starvation was a serious thing, and they were social even if it was the comfortable silence between friends. The messages he was able to send reminded him that they were on their way, the reassurances and the knowledge that someone was coming for him. 

Mamora help him. He would have to be the bridge between the ragtag group of young rebels and a fully formed Voltron Alliance. He could feel the headache already. Kolivan found they had all grown on him, despite the less than friendly welcome after his ship crash landed. He saw how they tried to get everyone, that no one was left behind. They had created a safe haven wherever they were. He rarely saw the amount of diversity in people, both terrestrial and extraterrestrial alike, that he saw with them. He sincerely hoped that the Voltron Alliance saw that. 

He kept going on missions with Lance, providing cover for him, helping him spar in hand to hand. He filled the days. In the mess hall he talked to people, many refugees who had come here in the hopes of a better life. A whole island full of people who were making something for themselves. 

His communicator buzzed, and Kolivan smiled as he saw it was Antok. 

\- _We are in the solar system, we have to go in stealth though, this is Empire territory. So no lions, just a pod._  
\- I just want to be out of here. It's been too long. I hate it here. The people are ok but I don't know. I want to be gone. I hate it here, I hate the people, the food isn't even that good. 

He felt a bit guilty writing that, it wasn't necessarily true either, but it was sent.  
\- _Even Lance? I thought you said he was ok? Did he do something then?_  
\- No, it's just not home.   
\- _You’re almost there, we’ve not seen many Empire ships. Where the hell are they?_  
\- At their own base. I still don't know. I’ve always thought that they would have kept it as a prized jewel.  
\- _T-minus two vargas, please alert them, see you soon. Allura is also with Regris and I._

He sighed. He hoped Lance would never know about what he said or the others. They didn't deserve what he had said. He didn't even know why he had said it. He made his way to the control room and was relieved to see they were all there, huddled around some old equipment. 

“So there's a pod that’s coming into the solar system. It’s gonna be here soon. It's got technology that isn’t Empire tech,” Pidge explained.

“Could it be for Kolivan?” Hunk asked, obviously wondering what they would do now. 

“Most likely, but with our tech right now? I can’t be sure. We use this stuff for a reason.”

“So our question is, do we reveal ourselves to them?” Shiro asked the room.

“No,” came the reply from everyone. 

“We have come too far for it to go to shit. We need to keep our home safe. It’s not just ours, it's everyone's. They cannot defend themselves on this scale. I can ask Kolivan.”

“Yes, see if he has had contact -” Kolivan didn't bother listening to them as he turned and walked down the hall. He thought that they were going to deny him going home. So he took matters into his own hands. 

-Antok, im opening up the comms positioning systems. Find me.   
\- _Are you sure about this?_  
\- Yes. 

He set up the positioning system and waited in his room. He ignored Lances calls through the door to his room, each yell getting more and more desperate. 

One and a half hours later, the screams began. He walked through the chaos to the roof and saw a pod rip through the sky to land just outside the barrier and saw the result of his team, his family, trying to get through. 

The last thing he remembered was a silent shot being fired as he felt something pierce his neck and a liquid start flowing through his veins, a feeling of falling, then black. 

He awoke to the feeling of stiffness and went to stretch only to find that his hands and arms were bound. He rocked and shifted trying to loosen the rope. Rope? He was still in the base then. Of course they used outdated methods. He just wished they had not betrayed him. He had started to like them too. 

He started to take in his surroundings. He worked out he was in one of the smaller holding rooms, and he tried to move, to alert anyone he was awake. He was going to fight. 

“Kolivan, please. We don't want to sedate you,” came Lance’s voice, he guessed through an intercom system. 

“Why am I here? Why am I tied up like a criminal?!” He yelled, his anger flowing through and the disgust he felt for leaving himself vulnerable. 

“You broke our agreement. You betrayed us, and you sent them our position. People could have died, and the Empire now knows where we are! Kolivan, you put us all in danger and now we have nowhere. We need to fight for our home or we die trying.” Lance’s voice was absolute. There was no hint of anything other than the knowledge that he would almost certainly die. 

“I betrayed you? You betrayed me! You promised I could go home! I heard you say you wouldn't contact them! Thats my friends in there! They were getting me home.”

“We saw that communication. If you truly did not like us you should have said. We would have found somewhere for you and kept you updated via someone you liked!”

“You still would have lied! You can barely sleep through the night let alone be worthy of your position.” He shouldn't have said that, especially after what he said that one night when he knew he had to do something. 

“Kolivan. What did you just say.” Oh hells. He had not expected to hear Antok. Mamora help him. 

“I .. I.. Something I shouldn't have.” He slouched as all the fight went out of him. 

“They've let us take you as they prepare. They also talked to Allura and have said that there is no chance for an alliance now. I’ll be down in a minute. I need to check up on Lance.” The comm clicked off and he was left to stew. 

It was always about Lance. Everything was, Lance’s team,the fact that Lance knew Antok, he resented him but he felt hurt and shameful. He had no idea how long it had been when Antok had come down to let him go. Keith was escorting him and waited by the door, a scowl etched onto his face. He could feel the hate from here. He didn't particularly mind. They had still betrayed him. 

The walk through the base hurt though. Everyone he had been friendly with moved away from him with a sudden disgust. He saw people packing up what little they had waiting to line up for shuttles that would take them elsewhere, for the lucky ones at least. 

They passed the Hunk and Pidge who looked hurt and sad and he definitely felt their animosity. At the doors he saw Shiro who flanked them on the way out. He had learnt how he had lost his arm, how he was used as a test subject and as a plaything in an arena. It was terrifying being on the other end of his stare. 

He barely caught a glimpse of Lance. Just a flash of brown as he practically disappeared into thin air. 

Throughout his march to the altean pod he thought he would stand proud but with every step the shame became heavier and heavier. He had caused this. He had doomed innocent people to die if the Empire had caught wind of his signal. He wished the braid he usually had wrapped around his neck would actually strangle him. 

He entered the pod and nodded to Allura and Regris who were ready to leave. A wormhole would take them back as there was no point being discreet anymore. The worst thing about it all was Antok wouldn't, couldn't look him in the eye. 

In less than a minute they were out of the atmosphere and heading towards the edge of their solar system. He caught sight of the fleet that had been sent to exterminate them. It was a punch to the gut. He had probably signed the death warrant of an entire island. 

“Allura we have to come back with Voltron. We can’t let them die.” 

“They refused the alliance. People die in war and they will have made a noble sacrifice. We can't save them all.”

“Allura, please. They need our help. Isn't one of the core values that we never say no to requests for help, no matter who they are?”

Allura sighed, resignation plain on her face.

“Castle send Voltron through the wormhole and any spare bodies you can. We need back up. The Empire has arrived.” Not a complete lie but enough of one for them to scramble quickly.

They had stopped the thrusters and were floating in the same direction. Allura donned her helmet and grabbed her whip and Kolivan had his blade ready. Hopefully they made it back in time to save the island. They knew the Empire would be there already but Kolivan had faith that the five rebels would be able to hold them off.

The journey back was tense. Antok and Kolivan’s nervous antsy energy collided with Allura’s volatile hate and resignation. They were in a pod that had the bare essentials and no weapons besides what they had on them. 

Kolivan was relieved when they saw Earth reappear and it turned to abject horror as there was a swarm of black that practically engulfed the planetas it pierced the atmosphere. To where they had been less than half a varga ago. They pulled up their cloaking technology and glided in, allowing the natural gravitation to make them look like debris. 

“Voltron through the wormhole, arriving soon,” said a voice and he didn't care who at this point. He just had to do something. 

As soon as the pod landed, he sprinted into the fray. Burning parts fell from the sky, shockwaves rocked the air and chaos was the only common thing. The human ships were whizzing about faster than even his eyes could comprehend. Then he noticed something. Many of the ships were being brought down from this side of the barrier. From what he knew, the barrier didn't cover the whole island. There were rocky outcrops that would easily allow cover for a… for a sniper. 

The only sniper on the base when he left was Lance. The only one to give him a chance. He didn't want him to suffer because of his choice. When all was said and done, Lance and his team had been kinder than he deserved to be treated, and in return, had to be treated with the same respect. 

He took down any foot soldiers with ease and used the smoke, fires and debris to avoid being caught in enemy sights. 

He climbed the scraggly rock as he tried to find where Lance was. It took awhile but he finally found him, literally in amongst the rocks and boulders. Kolivan would never have found him unless he knew what suit Lance had been wearing that day.

He found a nearby cave and hid in it, making sure to not be seen as Lance took out his targets. 

Yes, thank quiznak he had found him. 

“Lance, come with me! We can get you away, so you can live to fight another day!” he yelled over the noise of laser fire and explosions. The only reply he got was in code. 

_And leave my family? My Team? No._

“Then let me help!” the smallest of shrugs indicated Lance’s indifference. He saw an opening to move to better cover and took it. He had a pistol but the laser would show his position. Maybe they had a good idea with old weapons at least. So he joined the fray again when Voltron could be seen falling from the sky. It landed with a quake and sent dust and rock in every direction. They took out as many ships with the shoulder cannon and then became the lions, picking off what they could with their own lasers only to form voltron again as they ascended into the sky to fight the bigger ships that could still be seen from the ground. However, the ground was scorched and set alight, destroying everything in its path. 

He noticed that Lance had turned his attention to the people on the ground. High ranking officials that had made it to the ground for an invasion were being picked off. Lance was gunning for the top and working his way down. The soldiers were running around in a frenzy so he slew them as they stood. 

Kolivan never knew how long battles went on for. Some only went on for a handful of ticks where others went on for vargas, even movements. But by the time he had cut down his enemies he was exhausted. He looked up at the sky as explosions from space could be seen. It was getting dark and he knew it had been vargas. 

“Kolivan?”

“Yes, Antok?”

“Meet Lance and go with him to their base. We will meet you there.” Antok sounded tired, and he felt it too. He could only imagine how Lance was, cramped into that tiny space. Hells he didn't even know if he was alive. 

He went back to where he had last seen Lance and was dismayed to find that he wasn't there. 

“Lance?” he called, and still didn’t hear a thing. He kept calling as he searched getting more and more desperate with every iteration of Lance’s name. 

“Lance? LAANCE?!” He hoped that Mamora hadn't decided to take Lance’s life because of his decision. He heard a groan and he saw something move and a flash of blue as eyelids fluttered before shutting. 

“Please don take him yet, Oh Mamora, please no,” he chanted as he got closer. Debris was scattered and it looked like hell. He slid down the rock to get to Lance. Dust covered his face and his suit, intentional or not. 

“Lance, stay with me, I’ll get you back, you're not going out now. You better stay, I’m not letting you die before I repay you for getting me out of the crash site. Lance, please. Mamora please help me.” 

He couldn't get Lance to consciousness so he did the next best thing, or so he thought. He picked him up and ran towards the barrier. It didn't feel like time had passed when he reached the barrier and he was allowed to pass through with minimal pleading. 

He ran through the city streets, people moving out of his way when they saw Lance in his arms cradled to his chest. He was making a beeline for the hospital only to find it collapsing and on fire. 

“Kolivan to castle, prepare a healing pod. Please send me a ship.”

“Antok has just left. He will meet you by the barrier. May Mamora help you.”

“Thank you Regris, just don’t hate me after this.”

He ran. He felt the blood pumping round his body but all his mind was on the fragile young man in his arms. How he was barely feeling the warmth from his breath against his chest, how cold he was getting. 

He made it past the barrier, and as he passed through he could have sworn for all of a nano tick, he felt the sadness of an entire city. 

He slowed and fell to the ground, and careful not to hurt Lance further as he kept him cradled and supported. Lance was by no means weak, but he felt so defenseless, and for the first time, Kolivan realised how tiny and helpless humans could be. That he had never seen a human child who had not been taught to hate or that they were better than their fellow beings. 

He remembered the first people a regime enslaves is its own people, or those it didn't deem good enough, or even both. He remembered the failed coup of Zarkon and shuddered at what could have happened. 

He had more important things to worry about though, like the life that was dying in his arms. He moved some of the hair that covered Lance’s face. The curls were softer than he expected and he got a good look at his face, the line of Lance’s jaw and the youth that hadn’t quite been lost.

“Please Lance, don’t let it end here.” Kolivan heard the gentle hum of an altean ship get close. He just hoped it was one with a pod. Hedidn't think that Lance would survive if he got to the castle unaided. 

The ship set down and almost immediately Antok came running out. He stood taller and broader than Kolivan did but seeing the mask fall, one he had based on what could only be Lance’s design, he never looked as small as he did then. 

Antok started to give Lance a quick once over, assessing what to do. 

“Did you move him? Or did he move to you? Please be truthful, it could affect everything,” questioned Antok, who mercifully had experience in human physiology. 

“I had to, he would have died out there. No one would have seen him. He would have died.” Kolivan didn't know why he was starting to get emotional. He had barely tolerated him, but he guessed it had changed when he finally listened to what he had to say, how Lance never lied to him. 

“He will have to go in the cryo-pods. The healing pods in the castle will be needed. They are more powerful.” 

Getting Lance into a cryo-pod was pitifully easy. Compared to a Galra he was nothing. He probably weighed less than the average human too. The pod sealed and hissed as the air escaped and the temperature was lowered, keeping whatever life inside Lance dormant. Once they were both satisfied with Lance’s stability in the pod, they took off at high speed, knowing that it was all a matter of time now. 

Once in the castle, Kolivan could feel his fur stand on end as his fellow teammates and members of the Voltron Alliance stared at the unconscious rebel. He hated that they were probably feeling the same judgments that he himself harboured until only a few moments ago. Allura’s fury was something he could endure. He just hoped Coran wasn't as biased. 

The medical wing was something else. It was busy with patients but there was a healing pod that was left, a concerned Coran next to it. 

“I thought you were injured Kolivan?”

“No, it’s someone I owe my life to. Kolivan’s too really. He’s in a cryo-pod. Can you do anything?” replied Antok before Kolivan even had a chance to.

Coran looked into the pod and somehow wasn't phased to see a human. He just got out the instruments to get a quick analysis. 

“I can heal him,” both Kolivan and Antok let out deep sighs of relief, “But it will take a while. It seems this poor boy has been through hell. Help me get him out of this suit and into one for a healing pod.”

It took all three of them to get Lance changed and into the healing pod, especially after Kolivan saw the scars that littered his body. Scars he knew that came from battle and injuries beyond comprehension. Antok had to take a moment as he saw the scars that were over his spine.

“He got those protecting me. He has a cybernetic spine, because he got caught in a blast meant for me. I should have died but no, he had to be heroic and the little shit wouldn't even bat an eye about it.” 

“Hell if he didn’t force me to go with him, I would be dead. I lied when I sent that message, about hating them? I don’t think it’s possible to truly hate them. They are trying so hard to make a difference, just a bunch of kids compared to Voltron but stronger than we'll ever be.”

“If Keith and Pidge are still there then yes. Lance too, even though he doesn't see it. I didn't get a chance to see anyone, I barely got to see Lance. I somehow managed to stop Regris and Allura from attacking the barrier but you had been sedated. They had to. You would have destroyed a city, something I helped to build. I couldn't let it be destroyed,” Antok replied, regret and shame evident. 

“I would have done the same. I almost did the same for Lance.”

“Lance is special. He chooses to be kind even though he has the capacity to kill. He wants life to truly be good, that by doing good, he will inspire others to spread that kindness. He wants people to remember that humanity goes both ways, the tendencies we all share, good and bad.”

“I misjudged him, badly, I want to do better by him. He can't even sleep through the night. Not as an insult this time but the night terrors he gets? I want to help him. I did one night, but I was too much of a coward to be there the next morning. “

“Kolivan, what you're experiencing is called friendship,” Antok said condescendingly, but the teasing edge lessened it by a lot. “It's what happens when we be friendly to someone we know and like.” Antok poked him with his tail and laughed with Kolivan. 

“I don't know, it feels like something more, I want everything Lance wants to give me, and look at him, he’s just ughugh, why do we have feelings?!” exclaimed Kolivan, gesticulating wildly.

“There, there, little guy. That’s my friend you're hitting on.”

“I'm not little, you're just freakishly huge.”

“That's what she said!” Antok laughed despite the light punch from Kolivan that knocked him sideways in a fit of laughter. Kolivan couldn't help but join in.

They had completely forgotten that they were in the medical bay and that everyone was staring at them. Coran cleared his throat and the two galra looked up feigning innocence. 

“He will be in here for some time, three Earth days. The cryopod will help slow down brain function so he will heal faster. You were lucky.” 

“You don’t care that he’s human?” Kolivan asked nervously. 

“He saved Antok and you, and he fought his own kind. I judge people on their actions, and he doesn't seem to be bad at all.”

“No, he isnt,” Kolivan said quietly as the medbay started to empty as all the pods were full. Antok had left as well but soon came back with cushions, a few pillows and a hoard of duvets. Antok was essentially a pack mate and one of the best cuddlers he knew. He had the best pressure but they felt safe protecting and being protected in turn. Lance had become pack in the time they had known him, so they camped out in front of Lance’s pod, making sure he wasn't left alone. 

The first day was the hardest, Lance was still in a critical state, and the ever steadying heart beat came as a relief after an intense day. They were grateful that Coran had kept them updated, that the rebels were coming to the castle ship to see him, and to see if they could make an alliance with Voltron. 

The second day they left in the later half of their day, allowing his teammates to see him. They thanked Kolivan but were still on guard around him, which was fair. He was just thankful that Lance had passed through the worst and Mamora had decided that she wasn't taking his life today. 

The third day was agonising for a different reason. They were waiting for the hiss of the pod, many others had come and gone but Lance was still there. He probably then had to have work done on his spine if the cybernetic elements were damaged. 

They waited, they all did, camped out on the floor. To one side was a pile of humans who just wanted their family back and the other, two Galra who didn't really know what one of them wanted, why he had a nervous energy. 

They waited into a fourth day. 

Then a fifth. 

The sixth day was the worst, Hunk and Pidge had found out what was wrong. It was the spine itself, the pod was trying to fix the non-organic elements and was keeping him under. The damage wasn't as severe as Hunk and the others had feared but they would have to do something. Which meant opening up Lance’s back again. 

Kolivan took his leave as they prepped the area so Hunk and Pidge could work their magic while an Altean surgeon opened up his back. He knew it would be fixed by a varga in a pod but he didn't want to see Lance like that, in pain even though he was out cold. He just wanted Lance to be happy. 

The realization hit him like a tonne of bricks. He liked Lance. More than pack, as someone he would want to spend his life with. He kept it to himself as he hit the training deck, tearing the gladiators apart as he let his instincts run wild, the need to protect, to ensure no harm ever came and that he proved he was worthy of Lance’s love. It was antiquated and outdated but instincts were instincts, and while he had no idea about human customs, the want, the need to feel love and to share that love was universal, no matter what aspect it appeared as. 

Lance was back in the pod when Kolivan returned. He covered himself in a duvet and slept with his back against the glass and with Antok’s tail wrapped around his ankle, just in case. 

When the pod doors dissolved, Kolivan felt it immediately and was there to catch Lance, who was just about coming round. Antok looked up groggily and saw Kolivan cradling Lance yet again. He gave them a smile and slipped off to find Regris and the others. They would be more than happy to start a cuddle pile.

Kolivan was grateful as he laid Lance down amongst the duvets. He was glad that he was taller than Lance, that he could easily cover him and make sure he was protected. Lance wasn't by any means weak. He had muscle but compared to Kolivan? There was no contest. 

“I won't leave this time,” he whispered into the silence. Lance deserved to wake up to someone, knowing that he was safe. He hoped his presence would chase away most of the nightmares, or at least Lance could ground himself and try to get to ok again. 

He held Lance close. He knew there was definitely a friendship there, small and fragile but something he wanted to grow. He wouldn't act on his feelings, having Lance be there, even as a friend was more than enough, and if physical contact helped? Then so be it. He would be there for Lance as he hadn't before. He wanted to do something for Lance. 

His dreams that night were oddly peaceful and only stirred as Lance writhed in his grasp. Lance was murmuring and whimpering as Kolivan felt a wetness on Lance’s cheeks. He stroked Lance’s hair, like he had done the last time, whispering close trying to calm him. Lance soon went slack and in the dim light, Kolivan saw how young Lance was. Twenty five wasn’t old. Kolivan had barely made it into his thirties and he barely felt like he had his shit together. 

Sleep overcame them and Lance relaxed fully. He hoped sweet dreams chased away the nightmares.

Kolivan woke up at his normal time and basked in Lance’s warmth under the duvet nest. Lance stirred a few ticks later and looked up into Kolivan’s eyes. He shifted nervously and stiffened with the realisation of what position he was in. He scooted back, got up and ran out the room. Kolivan sighed and took the duvet pile out of the med bay. 

Lance couldn't have got far. He was one of the five humans on the ship and he wouldn't be easy to miss. 

Famous last words. Lance was a master of stealth and not being seen. He wouldn't be surprised if he had shimmied into an air vent or something. They needed to talk once he was found, start over, let Lance know that Kolivan truly wasn't the man he had presented himself to be. 

He sulked as he walked back and wasn’t surprised when Antok walked in step with him. 

“You know you’ve been spending a lot of time on him. At this point I’d say you were mooning. Be glad Thace and Ulaz aren't here, they would be on you like a tonne of bricks.”

“I’m glad Slav isn't here right now. I would not want to hear how in other realities I’m either happy in love, sad and out of love or, my personal favourite, dead.”

“I saw Shiro interact with him earlier, the eye twitch was just brilliant. But we need to address the Lion in the room. Lance. I saw him earlier with the rest of the humans. What are you going to do? The last time he saw you, you were insulting him and his entire being, on a misunderstanding, then he wakes to you cuddling him in what is essentially a nest. Quite a three sixty there.”

“I couldn't just leave him alone! I.. I… You’re right but I couldn't let him be unconscious alone.” Kolivan sighed.

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

“Talk with him, explain and apologise and start again if he allows it or give him the distance he wants.”

“A good start. Look, I've known Lance for years and though he has changed somewhat he is still the kind self sacrificing soul with issues underneath. Just state the truth and he will appreciate it.” Antok’s tail then slapped him round the face as he disappeared off in the throng in one of the main corridors.

It did take a while to find Lance and the other humans. The castle was a hive of activity with species of all kinds walking the halls. He only saw them once he was summoned to the main hall, where any negotiations were made. Though he wasn't a paladin himself, he was instrumental to the success of Voltron, and as such had a seat during the meetings. 

He walked through the doors with an apology. It wasn’t unusual to be late as the castle was massive and busy with the coming and goings of many people. Lance sat there flanked by the others, deep in negotiations with the Paladins of Voltron, Allura and Coran.

Allura was barely hiding her distaste and disgust at there being humans on her ship. The Empire of Humankind were not phased by Voltron. They created their own weapons that were effective against them and it was all out warfare. Maybe that's where they were going wrong. They were relying too much on a regimented fighting style and the Empire was anything but regimented. They had rank, true, but there was something that none of them seemed to be able to place that kept them winning a slim majority of battles. 

“I don't think we can trust them either Princess. They barely have technology to keep up with us. Hell we had to pool our resources to communicate!” Trigel directed to the room. 

“They are first generation fighters! They have survived for nine years fighting and lived to tell the tale. We have always wanted to know who was taking out targets and saving refugees who wandered too close to the empire’s homeworld and look, they’re younger than anyone thought. I say we listen to them,” Blaytz replied in turn, gesturing to them. 

“Here, here. We may even be able to use their insight into humans to our advantage, realise where we have been failing!” Gyrgan added. 

“But they are _humans_! They are who stole our lives, everything. They lie and steal and kill. Do we really want them in the Alliance?” questioned Allura, who was really obstinate in her refusal to see sense. 

“Yes.” Both Coran and Kolivan said in the same moment. 

“I have been there! They help everyone, they gave me trust even though I didn't deserve it -” Kolivan started,

“- it shows naivety and a complete disregar-”

“-You have not seen their injuries. You have not really seen or acknowledged that they have probably saved more lives than we can count. Hell, we might even have the advantage! Allura think of it this way, we might know more of what makes them so hard to beat.” Coran finished. 

“If I may,” interjected Lance, “We have won out because we understand humans. We try to embody the good aspects of humanity, and we have something you lot don't have apparently. Integrity. If we are not needed we want to go back. We have repairs to our home that need to be done.”

“As Lance said, we have other matters to attend to. We are willing to work with Voltron, however we do not expect to just go along or be insulted and talked about like we do not exist. We have done more in nine years against the empire than you have in one hundred years. We must go, please alert us of your decision.” 

As one they stood up and left the room. Both Yellow and Blue walked with them, Blaytz   
yelling after Lance, probably to compare something to make them feel better. The red paladin was an Olkari named Fay, all hot headedness and temprementality but a heart of gold looked at Allura and gave her answer. 

“So far I have nothing but trust for them. They have true intentions and nothing to gain by allying with us. It is us who stand to gain everything,”

“Fay is right, we need to consider a different approach. We are getting nowhere and the empire keeps growing. We can use them and it is better we keep an eye on them too, as a precaution of course,” Trox said, a former commander that had been Kolivan’s third in command. 

“I will speak to them, let them know that they are part of the Alliance,” Kolivan said. 

“I had no choice did I?” He heard Allura sigh. She wasn't as subtle as she thought she was at times, but the empire had taken so much from her. It was no excuse but it would be the start to help show her that maybe it wasn't all as it seemed. 

 

Kolivan had wandered into the mess hall, and then to his rooms. He had given up looking for Lance, letting Lance find him in his own time. The knock on the door came and he wasn't surprised to see Lance standing there. Kolivan never thought he’d ever see Lance look awkward but here they were. 

“So. Um. Antok said it would be best to talk to you. As did Hunk. And Pidge. Definitely Shiro and Keith in a grumpy manner but still. Um, something seems to have changed and I? I don't even know why I’m here. The last time I spoke to you properly we had to sedate you!”

“Look, things became clear and I have to talk to you, to tell you how I really feel.”

Hope took over Lance’s face and he nodded a bit and became a little less stuck in his own head as he was invited into the living quarters. 

“Blue is your favourite then?” It took Kolivan a few ticks to realise that he was talking about the slippers Blaytz had passed on to him as they fit his foot shape more than Blaytz’s. 

“I guess. She purrs when I check up on her. I shouldn't but Blue has always been welcoming to everyone.” 

“So.”

“So.”

“Look, we were going to tell you, I promise, but you just went out and we had to follow procedure but we were going to check with you that it was your friends. Just, I thought we were getting somewhere man? You seemed to have let down your guard and it felt like you cared. Then we read the messages and Antok confirmed when we saw him. Why did you say that if you didn't mean it? What did we do? What did _I_ do? If it was the bed thing why stay with me last night? That it was all a mistake every time we did. It’s been weeks since we started that. I wouldn’t have been angry if you wanted to stop.” Lance was close to tears and Kolivan knew that Lance wore his emotions on his cheek. He rarely showed his true emotions, but here he was baring them to Kolivan.

 

“No, it was me. I never gave you the chance for you to really get to know me. I shouldn't have just assumed that you were going to leave me stranded. I brought the Empire to your home and now you will have to move because they will go after you. I am sorry, more than I can ever say.

“And to address that other point, I wanted to help you that night. I couldn't stand the idea of you suffering alone again. I meant what I said. I stayed last night because I’ve come out of those pods and you were barely here, still groggy and so incredibly out of it, so I decided the duvets were the best place. I didn't want you alone again. Lance, I want to try to be friends, if you’d allow me. I understand if you decide not to and I will respect your wishes.”

Kolivan stood there as Lance thought his words over. He knew he would respect Lance’s wishes whatever they would be. He was nothing if not sincere. 

“I accept your apology, but listen, it hurt a lot. You hurt me, and that won't change. But I want to try being friends. If Antok is friends with you, then that is something in itself.”

A truer statement had never been said. Antok was incredibly perceptive about people. He and Kolivan were the Alliance’s spymasters, Antok specialised in reading people and gaining intel while Kolivan was made for stealth and for destruction. They worked well and they had really made leaps in the war. Ironically, Kolivan had thought the same, that if Antok trusted Lance with his life, then there was something worth his attention in Lance. 

“I can say the same about you.”

An awkward silence fell over them, and Lance rubbed his arm and bid his goodbyes, retreating to the rooms that Allura had grudgingly given the ragtag group of humans. 

Kolivan saw little of the humans over the coming cycles. They sat together in the mess halls and no one dared to approach them. They were eyed with suspicion and supervised at all times by a paladin who didn't even talk to them. Everyone made it clear how they thought of them and didn't care if it showed. 

The cycles started to pass quickly, and as they drew on, it was evident that no one was talking to them, no one but Antok. Who was helping them on the training deck, learn how to use the goo dispenser, access the tech that should have been afforded to them? He had had enough too. He hadn't spoken to Lance or any of the others, and they were probably his greatest assets in this war. He had so many questions - about their lives, their motives and just wanting to get to know them. 

That ‘night’ he looked in on the training Antok was leading. He had Hunk and Pidge working on their footwork in battle while Keith and Shiro were sparing. He even saw Regris looking on from the rafters. Then there was Lance who was running basic hand to hand drills with Antok, helping him use his agility to his advantage with the added difficulty of a prehensile tail being used against him. 

Kolivan nodded to Regris to join the fray. Antok relaxed his position and placed his hand over Lance’s face to stop him from coming any further, arms flailing before he relaxed and straightened up from his position. He gave a small smile and the others crowded around them. 

Antok then paired Regris and Keith up and Kolivan was pleased to see fire light up in Keith’s eyes at the challenge. Antok went to help the others work on some marksmanship. It left Lance and Kolivan alone to train. 

Lance quickly fell into a stance, ready to move at a moment’s notice, eyes alert and watching every minute movement that Kolivan made. Every twitch, every look and he felt the intensity of Lance’s gaze. He didn't know what to make of it. He made his move, lunging towards him, blade outstretched, and at the last moment, Lance was out of his way. He waited for Lance to make a move but none came. It continued that way, Kolivan starting to tire himself out. It had been a long day but he wasn't going down without a fight. He felt like he was the mouse in this game with Lance as the cat making his plays. 

The next time Kolivan made a move for Lance, Lance allowed himself to evade Kolivan's arm but reached behind him and yanked him to the ground, holding him in a position he hadn't really been in, not since he was a kit. As soon as he was on the ground he was released. Lance had moved on, his dual pistols taking down targets, far too many even for him. An invitation to work with him rather than against him. 

He sent a grin at Lance who returned it with his own as he effortlessly took down gladiator after gladiator. They kept each others backs as they seemed to watch the other and work out what the next move would be before it was made. They danced around one another, their fighting styles complimenting each other and the way they seemed to be on the same page with every move. By the time they were done with three levels of gladiators they had an audience. Kolivan looked up and saw the others he was training with stare and from the observation deck, Coran, Allura and the Paladins plus many others. 

Lance looked a bit like an animal caught in the crosshairs, so he did what he thought was best and ran. Kolivan looked to Antok and shared a look and soon ran off after him. Kolivan had been watching Lance. He was starting to understand him and where he wanted to bolt to. 

He listened for the foot falls that were starting to slow and turned a corner to see Lance slip into a room. He swiftly followed as saw Lance staring out into the stars. 

“They seem so different here. I'm not looking up or seeing the masses of smog everywhere. I know we aren't wanted here. We use outdated tech because it's harder to trace, hell, laser tech can’t stop a bullet. I can't sleep and neither can Shiro. We just stay awake where we can and constantly move before we outstay our welcome. It's not hard. 

“Your spies are more welcoming and I could swear Keith has a thing for Regris, the way he looks at him, damn. I would kill to be looked at like that, like I’m actually worth something. Coran is cool too. He keeps talking to me when he can, and he’s nice, weird but the nicest anyone’s been to me in years. Shame when it all ends.”

Lance must have seen Kolivan’s concern and the argument that had started to form in his throat.

“Kolivan, you know it’s true. This is war and I’m going to die. I just want it to mean something when it comes.”

“Lance?” Deep blue eyes looked into his and he wished he could wipe the sadness from them. “You deserve to be admired and loved. I mean who couldn't love you? You're smart and funny and so damn good? And nightmares are a thing true, but my room is always there if you need it. Or you find me and we can sort something out, even if Shiro is with you. We can try things,” Kolivan said, but he realised he needed to open up as well. If he wanted a friendship, then he would open up the way Lance was. 

“When I was a kit, there was so much I wanted to do. Believe it or not, I didn't want to be a spymaster. I wanted to be an explorer, search the stars and all that. The Empire rules with an iron fist and they took my parents away for having me. Our sector was strict on population growth and well, galra aren't exactly welcomed. I ran into the forests of the planet I was living on and Voltron found me. They couldn't save my parents but they found me. Trained me. 

“I rose the ranks to spymaster when they realised I could be unseen if I wanted to. I just blend in. I don't stand out. I gave up meeting a mate phoebs ago.I guess I just want to be seen too.”

 

Kolivan felt Lance shift a little closer. 

“They call us The Abandoned in the Empire, all of us who were unlucky enough to be born on Earth. They left it to die, forgetting it’s a death planet - the volcanoes, earthquakes, weather. We became humanity because of our planet. The Empire have forgotten that. We won so many battles because we share the same resourcefulness, the way we think, and because we could. Guerilla warfare works best when you know the terrain more than your opponent. If you want to win this war, bring them to a place you guys know. Set traps, go old tech.

“The Empire thinks so highly of themselves that they think only Voltron can defeat them. The shields only protect from laser and whatever Voltron runs on. The perks of forgotten about eh? Though if you really wanted to dismantle the Empire, you’d have to do a two strike attack, one with the military, one in the senate. You would have to commit a war crime. We are better than that.” Lance looked wistfully into the passing nebula. 

Kolivan didn't want to say all the war crimes Voltron had committed already. He had made it his mission to learn more about this group of humans. They never attacked civilians, they kept their prisoners with dignity, and they had never once committed a war crime. He admired it. They stuck to their morals. The Voltron Alliance couldn't say the same thing. 

Kolivan was also starting to notice something among all the humans, that they cared, so much. In their small short lives, compared to everyone else, they cared about everything. Loving and caring for each other and others so fully and with all they had. It was a side to humanity very few had probably seen. It warmed Kolivan to see that for once, all was not as it always seemed. 

“Hey Kolivan?” Lance asked.

“Yes?”

“We’re friends yes?”

“Yes, you don't need to hide anything. I’ve judged and paid the price for doing so. I’ve learnt my lesson, promise,” he joked and it made Lance laugh. It was small but it was something. 

“Can I, I um.” Lance just couldn't seem to get his words out. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” he said quickly, as if each word was acid. “Not like that, just another body. Shit that isn't any better. Just sleeping, nothing weird, just the knowledge that there's someone nearby. I just want a night’s sleep, just only and only if, it's ok with you.”

“Of course it is,” Kolivan replied. He wasn't going to lie. He had quite liked the way Lance had fit into his chest, how he felt like he could protect the sweet human from all the universe could throw at him. 

They watched the passing stars for a little while longer in companionable silence. They were no longer awkward around each other, and when Lance started to fall asleep on Kolivan’s arm, he picked Lance up and took him to his own room. 

On the way there, he found out how tiny Lance was in comparison to him, how thin and, well, small in his build. How light. He held Lance closer, so scared that one wrong move and he would break. They never really had humans on the base but they knew that humans only needed to out walk any prey to be successful. Kolivan didn't want to risk any damage to Lance, well, any more than had already been inflicted. 

He didn't bother with the lights as he entered his room. The bunk wasn't exactly big nor was there realistically enough room for two, but maybe, just maybe, it would be ok to cuddle. There was no other word for it. It was cuddling through and through. Kolivan was getting touch starved and he wondered, as he moved Lance into a position that should be comfortable in sleep, if Lance might be touch starved too. Judging by the way he seemed to relax immediately as their legs weaved together and an arm wrapped around his waist. Soft humming of enjoyment emanated from Lance and if that was anything to go by, Kolivan could rest happy that night. 

“Night Kolivan.” Lance mumbled as sleep claimed him and Kolivan followed soon after. 

That morning wasn't awkward. They got up as normal and went about their business, just, when everyone was at breakfast, he found that he sat with them, along with Antok and a rather bashful Regris, who seemed to have really taken a shine to Keith. Targets to hit, people to help, people to dispose of. The Empire of Humankind was a democracy at its heart. There was always someone ready to take the place of another. All they needed was someone with the drive and the desire to keep people in line. 

The people that were in the Senate were replaceable, voting in those who would serve their purpose. Of the people and for the people, but only if they were Human. This meant that taking them out was hard, and as Lance said, the only sure fire was was to commit a war crime. He would have to bring it up with Voltron though. It was a way to end the war, even as the last resort.

They trained and Lance went to work on his own team, drawing up plans, and he followed his day to day schedule with one change. He wanted to help his friends when they trained on their individual weapons. Pidge fought with a weapon of her own design, an analogue electric whip that she called a Razor, which at different electric currents, allowed to be used a a whip, grapple or even a rather effective staff. She was training against a fair few blades, using her intellect to outsmart them and to keep her distance. 

Keith was against Regris and a few other spies of his, all of them well versed in swords. While used in the Empire as mere decoration and more an artform, Keith used his sword like it was singing for more and more blood. Each movement was purposeful and aimed to kill, not draw the bare minimum blood. Shiro was with Hunk, helping with heavy hitting weaponry. They never really showed what they were capable of down here, Kolivan thought to himself, but they definitely were able to hold their own. They needed the room as Shiro used his environment to help while Hunk was more of a defensive attacker and worked best with others. But he didn’t see Lance. 

He looked over the entire ship, by himself and then resorting to using the altean tech to search for his heat signature. He wasn't on the ship. All that happened was a missing pod. 

He sighed and assumed Lance knew what he was doing. He talked among them that night as they insisted on doing small things together, what could be described as grooming or in Lance’s case using two metal spikes to make a fabric clothing. Lance had called it ‘knitting’ and Kolivan wasn’t exactly impressed until Lance had pulled a jumper over his head. He supposed it was something nice if it calmed them all down and made each other happy.   
Humans were a pack species and the combination of Keith and Pidge was lethal. He had seen some of their cleaning bots with knives taped to them while others were programmed with emotions. Apparently their inspirations were from a book called the Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy and Wall-E. Kolivan had never heard of them in the Alliance or during his formative phoebs in the Empire. 

He was confused but nonetheless amused to see some of the stuffier dignitaries being chased by a small knife wielding robot that was annoyed when mud was traipsed over the freshly cleaned floor. The human ability to Pack Mate anything was truly astounding. Though Hunk cooing over anything was also weird, asking the most deadly animal on the ship if he was a good boy, the worst was that the Traagen flopped over and allowed Hunk to scratch its stomach and followed him round, even going as far as to cuddle Hunk.

He enjoyed observing them. He enjoyed his...friends? Hell, when did they become friends? But he enjoyed watching them shake everything he ever knew into the ground and show him the good that humans could achieve. Sure, they were capable, doing a lot of questionable tasks, but they stuck to a moral code. 

That night when he climbed into bed, it felt empty. He liked having Lance there last night, liked that he felt like he could protect something that seemed so good in the world. Everyone on this ship was uptight, distrustful but Lance wasn't. True, he held a lot in and was obviously downplaying everything about himself, but the private moments with his friends or with him or Antok, the true him, he was as bright as a hypernova, and it was gone just as quickly. 

The bed felt cold and empty and so did the castle. He felt a small ache appear in his bones as he fought to sleep. The sleep that came was hard and did little to chase away the tiredness. He kept waking up, reaching for a body that wasn't there. 

The next time he woke that night he felt a lump in the bed, the feel of soft curls and warmth that radiated through multiple layers of fabric. He reached for it and pulled Lance close, reveling in the scent that bombarded his nose and finally fell into a somewhat decent sleep. 

It carried on this way for a while, one or more of the humans disappeared on occasion, gone for a few vargas, or what could be described as days or movements. But every night, there was an unsaid agreement that Lance would climb into Kolivan’s bed unless told otherwise. They chose to sit near each other at meals and there was always a hand of support when it was needed.

When Lance was gone, he felt it. He wanted Lance there to be the reason he was smiling and laughing. He wanted the snide comments and the sarcasm. He wanted the exasperation and the utter chaos that was Lance when he wanted something done. One such thing was getting the Princesses’ approval, for him and his friends. 

It started small, building a small friendship with her pet mice that were dotted about the castle. Then asking small questions that were safe, about facilities they could use or what he could use as a needle to repair some of his clothes. It then became common interest and then proving that not all humans were as bad as the Empire. 

Lance had a magnetic personality, sure he could be loud and, well, vocal about a lot of things, but he made sure that everyone he talked to was included in conversation. That they felt listened to when they spoke and always left with a smile. Many of the species on board had started to trust the rag-tag group of humans and soon enough they were attending meetings and bonding sessions alike. 

The rebel humans had been in space for just under a month, living in close quarters with the Alliance. Lance spent the nights, or what the castle called a night, with Lance and everytime Kolivan came back from a mission, Lance was there to hear him rant or complain or offer a distraction if it went badly. 

“So, where have you all been disappearing off to?” Kolivan finally asked one night. They were both exhausted but not enough to sleep, just neither had the energy to give a shit any longer. 

“Missions, same as you.”

“You're using pods? They can only go so far.”

“We have a Pidge, and we have a Hunk. It's the same pod and we still have things to do back on Earth. In my case, targets to eliminate and people to save. The others check in on their cells on top of their missions. You know, normal resistance stuff, plus upkeep of Cuba. We made sure the island seemed to be decimated. Global warming sure did reduce the size, but it’s home. The barrier hides it but we are getting people out.

We know no one will help the humans that live there but the others? They will find a home. It causes high tensions, that they don't get to leave but it's better than overpopulation and we try to work with them, help them understand and be as transparent as possible. I’ve been setting up a new hierarchy down there, so we can help up here. It's almost finished. Just one more trip, finish it and say goodbye. I’m prepared to die, and at least I know there won't be any issues when I’m gone,” Lance finished matter of factly. 

Kolivan felt his heart break a bit, hearing Lance talk so casually about his very probably death. He offered a tight squeeze and the knowledge that he was still alive here and now. It was something they all faced daily. They just dealt with it differently. For Lance, he learnt, it was physical, meaningful touches to remind him he was still alive. 

“I’ll be here until I’m not,” Kolivan knew to not make promises he couldn't keep. Dying was a very real thing when fighting a war. They slept that night and when they both woke from seperate nightmares, soothing the other in the ways that each of them needed. They never talked about them because that would mean acknowledging that there was something fucked up about them fighting a war this young. 

Lance wasn’t there in the morning. 

He didn't return for a very long amount of time. The other humans came and went, each one with tears in their eyes as if they knew something that no one else did. Lance still did not return. 

News came from the Empire from some of his networks. A high ranked senator dropped dead one night, the killer unidentified and a poison that was barely used anymore. Cyanide. A very human poison. It had saved lives though. It could only have been Lance, and at the same time, many other people died, stopping a major attack on a new planet.

It didn't stop him from being lonely, the touch from Antok wasn't enough anymore. It was an entire month. He didn't even want to question when he started to use space and human time markers interchangeably, probably Lance’s fault, he thought. 

A few cycles and Lance came back, a little worse for wear but alive. Hunk jumped him immediately followed by Pidge. Keith got pulled in for a hug comically and pouted a bit but smiled gently at Lance’s return, not letting him know that he was glad. Shiro gave his hair a quick ruffle and a happy smile then his own hug. Even Coran had embraced him. They had gotten close, Coran seeing Lance like a family member, even though logic denied that it should even happen. 

Kolivan slipped out the room but missed the look Lance gave him, like some of the light had left the room, that one of his friends didn't want him back. 

There was a faint knock on Kolivan’s door a few vargas later, and there was Lance, his hair messed up and evident that he had tried to sleep and failed. 

“Hey,” Lance said weakly, but his heart wasn't in it. He looked exhausted and emotionally just done. 

“Hey,” Kolivan replied, not really being able to do much but look down at him. 

“I missed you earlier. Why did you leave? Do you want me to go now?” Lance asked and started to turn away. Kolivan felt the intense urge to pull him back and ask to court him, to be able to do what he wanted so desperately to do, learn how humans courted and so much more. 

He did, however, move and place a hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Lance? I didn't know if you wanted me there, like I was just an add on. You looked so happy.”

“That's because all my friends were there, all of them.”

“But-”

“That includes you, you numpty. How could I not include you? Hell we share the same bed most nights, like a sleepover.” 

Kolivan knew then that he was gone. He was deeply infatuated and quite possibly in love with him. His pining could fill a forest. But he was also going off a cliff, afraid that Lance couldn’t, wouldn't, return his affections, not that Kolivan showed them in the first place. He thought he saw small smiles or something hidden under other emotions but he was sure that was just Lance, or how humans were. It's not like they went out of their way to observe that side of human behaviour. 

“Yeah, I - Um- it's good to see you again. The offer for a shared bed is still there.” Kolivan was stiff and he did what he did best. He hid his true emotions and thought about it clinically. It was just the idea that there was someone else to ground him subconsciously, nothing more and nothing less. 

In the bed, Lance was slightly closer than he usually was and was facing Kolivan. 

“I said goodbye to my family today. I moved them from Cuba to a safe zone far away. I’ve sorted everything out and I’ll just be sending messages from now on. But I feel like I’m never going to see them again.”

Kolivan couldn't reply. He couldn't guarantee anything. So he offered his presence and hoped it was enough to help the tears that were trailing down Lance’s cheeks. Kolivan then did something that he had never done. He pulled him close to his chest and kept him there, enclosed Lance fully into his space, like he would help a distressed mate. He wished he could kiss him, soothe him physically and reassure that he would never willingly leave Lance’s side. But he didn’t, and Lance’s tears fell and knew this was one of the hardest things Lance had ever had to do in his life. 

Soon enough Allura was sending the humans on missions. She still didn't trust them fully but she trusted in their want to take down the Empire. 

The first mission he had with one of them was Lance providing cover for him planetside while Voltron raged on overhead. Explosions could be seen in the sky and debris rained upon them as easily as the acid rain that fell from the atmosphere. No matter where they or the Empire went, destruction followed quickly. They never stayed long enough to see the damage, only to see their glory and be off, the planet left with a communicator. 

He felt the heat of laser bursts aimed at him but felt them lessen as Lance picked them off, clearing a way for Kolivan to complete his mission. Kolivan let his muscle memory take control, just guiding his body to where he needed to be. Working his way to a nobleman’s house. 

He got there and walked past a cowering child who was being covered by a maid. He stalked into another room and slashed open the throat of the man in cold blood, then moved onto the screaming woman. He returned to face the child and froze. He saw Lance place himself between the child and himself. 

“We do not kill innocent people. I will not let you harm this child.” Lance turned to face the child and knelt down to the child's level. It was crying and it was scared. It would be a mercy to put it out of its misery. 

“Hush, hey now, I’m here ok? I’m gonna take you from here ok? My name is Lance. Who are you?”

“Mama told me not to speak to strangers.”

“Your mama asked me to look after you ok?” 

The child nodded. “Ben, I’m three!” 

“Three?! Thats a big age. Let me take you from here ok? You want me to carry you?”

Ben held out his arms, a universal sign to be picked up and nodded as more tears fell down his cheeks. Lance smoothed the boy’s hair, mumbling to him as he carried him through the debris. It truly was a sight to behold. Voltron was fighting in the distance, and each step caused tremors, even this far away, explosions went all around him, but Lance kept moving forwards, a three year old kit in his arms with the most murderous look Kolivan had ever seen on his face. Just daring anyone to try to stop him looking out for this child. 

He had the feeling this wasn't the first time he had done this either. 

With one hand he was supporting the child who had his face buried in Lance’s neck with his eyes scrunched shut, quietly sobbing, scared to even look up. Lance’s other hand was holding a pistol, taking down anyone who was aiming at him, his only priority to protect the child. 

They managed to get to the pod and Kolivan did his best to protect them while Lance wasn’t looking after the scared kit. The command came to come back, Voltron victorious, but the tension was thick and tangible. 

Lance was talking Ben to sleep, soothing him. Reassurances filled the cabin space. Kolivan felt like he was intruding on something. He kept his eyes glued to space and zoomed through the wormhole.

As soon as the pod touched down on the castle ship, Lance strode out with the sleeping child in his arms. 

Lance didn't come to him that night. 

Lance didn't go to him for many nights. Antok had told him he had taken the child to Earth, back to Cuba to raise him with the refugees. The child deserves a shot at life, that the crimes of his parents weren't his, that there was still hope. Kolivan followed orders and maybe he should start questioning how much he lived by them. 

The night Lance returned, their first interaction could only be described as cold. Lance was a sniper and Kolivan should have done well to remember it. He had a cold fury and honestly, Kolivan was slightly terrified. 

“You killed Ben’s parents practically in front of him. That man could have been way worse. His father actually cared for his planet and his people. He did not tolerate xenophobia or anything like that. He did the best he could. All he did was to act as a planet wide mayor. PK-x123 was a dwarf planet! He was elected by the people and that included a lot of non human beings.” Lance didn't look at Kolivan. 

“What?! Like you've done better. What about all the people you killed or got caught in the crossfire? Or even because of the organisation you founded? You didn't even name yourselves, for people to know where to put the blame! I'm not innocent, no, but neither are you Lance!”

“I know! What the hell do you think my nightmares are even about? The faces and names of people who have died as collateral, how that might even be my family one day. My neverending nightmares that don’t leave when I wake because they are my insecurities anyway.

 

“Kolivan, I fucking know that. But we still don't kill children deliberately. We try to get as many people safe as possible, and if there was any opportunity to save a life than I will take it even at the expense of my own.” Lance wasn't yelling, his voice was only slightly raised but it was stony and cold. This was worse than when Kolivan was in the holding rooms for the second time, but something kept spurring Kolivan on, to dig a bit deeper, the want to hit Lance where it really hurt. 

“At least I can see that what I’m doing matters. I’d gladly give my life and take others if it meant an end to the empire no matter who it was.” And it was true, he had suggested the idea that Lance wouldn’t to Allura, who had nodded eagerly and called it a viable options. 

“Kolivan, you're my _friend,_ please don’t make me hate you,” Lance said softly. He turned away and didn't come back. 

More missions came and went and many Alliance members kept his back but they weren't Lance. He hated this. He had to apologise because what he said was definitely out of line. What Lance had done in that month away was highly orchestrated and he let no one know while organising it or any of the stress. It was a testament to Lance and damn, he fucked up. 

That night, Lance was training on the ranges. He was up in the rafters and making sure that there were moving targets that were camouflaged using the castles holographic technology. He saw Kolivan and stopped the simulation and leapt down, swinging from the handholds. He let down the mask and hood the humans all wore in training or around the Castle. It was a rare sight to see any of them without either one up. 

“Look, Kolivan, I’m sorry. I shouldn't have been as harsh as I was. This is war and we can’t save everyone. You were following orders. Just because our ethics clash, doesn’t mean I have the right to take it out on you. I just? That was me, true we were the Abandoned but we made the best until a resistance group changed it for the worse. My dad died trying to protect us, and I’ve made a point to never kill a child because then I am no better than other resistances or the Empire themselves.”

Kolivan stood there as he considered Lance’s words, his initial reaction understandable. 

“Thanks, I also need to say sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I didn't stop to think , I was too focused on the missions, it's hard to see through them to see what we really should be doing. But I hurt your feelings as well as the others. I called what you did insignificant, when it's the opposite. I follow orders and delegate and I'm just a spymaster. I’m rarely in the field. You went into the Empire and took down a high level senator? With cyanide? That hasn't been seen in over a decaphoeb!” Kolivan started to gesture wildly. He had been readings on Earth history and Lance continued to amaze him. “Is it ok if I ask how the kit is doing?”

“Ben is safe on Earth. He’s recovering and has a family again. And I accept your apology.”

“We ok?”

“Yes, of course we are, hell for years no one knew we exist and here we are? Like I _like_ working with you. We make a good team.”

“And we don't give you guys enough credit, mostly because you're the same species as the Empire.”

They fell into a comfortable silence as they made their way to the mess hall. Lance took down his mask but kept his hood up, every now and then small smiles were sent Kolivan’s way. He refused to have hope flare in his chest. Hope was a dangerous thing. It could inspire or it could destroy a person, and for Kolivan, that hope would destroy him completely. 

Other people joined their table soon enough, a few Olkari and a taujeer started to talk with them, and Lance was like a sponge, drinking in all he had to learn, and by the end, he had mastered some of the Olkari language. 

The walk back was nice. He was at the full mercy of Lance’s smile, Lance’s laugh and just Lance. He knew then that he was in love. That rare thing that few of them found but cherished above all else, but he couldn’t act on it. He’d rather love from afar, knowing that this was more than enough. This little scene was enough to keep fighting for. 

“Is it ok if I come back to your bed? I just thought, maybe. Kolivan, you're my friend, I don't want to change that, even if we argue or fail to see eye to eye sometimes.” Kolivan sighed in relief. He missed it, wanted Lance there, wanted everything Lance would give to him. He was well and truly fucked. 

 

They continued as they had. Each mission brought them closer and closer together. Each mission debrief was a game of who could make the most puns or jokes. Most of Kolivan’s spies later told Lance they hadn't seen Kolivan laugh as much as he did when he was around him. Traitors, the lot of them. But they liked Lance too. Hell, most of the Castle had come to like Lance is some form. They spent more time with each other in activities one could consider romantic, and Kolivan desperately wished it could be. 

During the missions there were small smiles, a glint in the eye and the other knew exactly what to do. They fought like they had been trained together their entire lives. They became successful. Lance rubbed off on Kolivan. Kolivan questioned his orders a bit, made decisions which turned out for the best, and he thought he saw some of what he said be taken on board, little suggestions he had made here and there. The training he had put in too, mostly anatomy, where to hit hardest with a species that wasn't human. 

They were on another planet. It was a stealth operations so the entirety of Antok and Kolivan’s spies were there including Lance. Pidge was there hacking her way into the systems to allow them access. They were there to create a power vacuum to allow the original rulers back in after being conquered by the Empire. It had been fairly recent and many resented the humans that had taken up residence. Mercifully there were no children this time. 

Kolivan motioned for some of his spies to move forwards, many were Galra or Galra hybrids and were able to sneak about, but not all. He looked up to Lance to reassure him it was fine to go on, that his back was covered. He made sure to smile, though his fangs were bared at anyone else, like he was claiming ownership, like he would a mate.

Antok saw and gave him a knowing smile before disappearing back into the shadows. Antok was bigger and more muscled than Kolivan was. How he still managed to go unseen was something Kolivan would never know. 

It was going smoothly. He saw Lance move from building to building after each shot. Starting low on the ladder of hierarchy, then they got close to the old palace that had been taken by the invading humans. Traps were everywhere and there was a huge amount of security around the people they were eliminating. Each one of them had committed war crimes when colonising and invading. They honestly were scum. 

They managed to get through the traps, and Lance was right. They were all technologically advanced and simple actions rendered them useless. They silently took out the guards block by block, advancing their way to the bunker. Once they arrived they knocked on the door, and Kolivan smiled.

“Knock Knock Motherfuckers!” Kolivan smiled, Lance would be proud, he knew Lance wouldn’t say anything but hoped he was smiling over the comms. Then he heard the laserfire. None of them were using lasers. Their blades were more than enough. _Lance._ He ran to the top of the building and looked to find Lance, but couldn't. 

The worst went through his mind, Lance dead, or injured or just not here. He needed to protect Lance, hells, he would do anything for him, just to hear that he was safe. 

“Lance? Lance? Please, please please please please, Lance?!” He chanted Lance’s name as a prayer to Mamora. He already had too many close calls to Mamora but damn like hell he was going to allow the Goddess of Death to take Lance. He wanted the small looks and the blushes when Lance thought Kolivan wasn't looking. He wanted it. The hope hadn't been extinguished. It had just grown quietly, till it was a raging inferno in his heart. 

“Lance?!” he cried as he scoured the sky lines. He knew the men and women in the bunker had been taken care of, but Lance?

He looked down and was so glad he had night vision. In the growing dusk, figures were fighting on the ground. He lept down to be closer. He took the impact and ran across the roofs of the smaller buildings. Then he saw the scene beneath him. 

Lance was covered in blood, and his face was cold and a look of pure death. He danced around them, laying calculated blow after calculated blow, while the others reacted on instinct. Lance was dictating the fight. His moves came naturally, and he was using his pistols and his hand to hand with deadly precision. Kolivan stopped and stared. Lance was a league of his own, and Kolivan knew that Lance was on top of this. 

Humans were falling like dominoes. If it was anyone but Lance or maybe Pidge, they would have all been dead. Turned out only a human could really fight a human in situations like this. To anyone else there was no pattern, but to Lance, he was predicting three moves ahead of him and taking action before they could. He could feel Lance’s blood singing for more, feeling him dance the impossible dance and relish in the feeling. There was no stopping him.

The smell of gunsmoke hung in the air as well as the acrid smell of blood and burnt hair. Smoke from the laser fire and the start of burning corpses hung low in the atmosphere, and Lance emerged from it, wiping blood off his face, letting it drip to the dusty ground from his glove. His hood was down as was his mask. Every muscle could be seen under the suit and damn Lance looked good. There had been no question about that. His eyes were hard and cold and he looked like a vessel of Mamora, or as Lance would have called it, an angel of death.

Kolivan could only stand and stare. He was dumbstruck. Lance could literally kill him on the spot and he would have been _thankful,_ would have begged for anything that Lance would give. One punch and withering look and he would have been a puddle. 

_Mate_ became a chant pounding through his body. 

Upon seeing Kolivan, the good parts of humanity returned to Lance’s features. Joy. Hope. Relief. Love. Love?

Kolivan didn't dare hope but he would try nonetheless. He ran to Lance and embraced him in a hug, not caring about the blood. He breathed in Lance’s natural scent and he felt more at ease, knowing that Lance was alive, he was safe, he was in his arms and he was _safe_.

“Kolivan? I can't... Breathe...” Lance spluttered as he was stuck in that bone crushing hug, Kolivan looked down and for once didn't hide the hope in his eyes, his love, the want and need for more and everything Lance would give him. 

“Lance, I’m sorry, hey, you ok?” Kolivan asked, desperate to cup Lance’s face. Later, he promised himself. Later. 

“Yes, I had a few good teachers after all.” Lance then winked. Lance. Winked. Kolivan’s brain stopped working. 

Yeah he wasn't going to last. Lance had turned away, picking up his rifle and holstering his pistols. Kolivan made the few strides to catch Lance’s hand. Lance turned to look at him, curiosity tinged with nervousness.

“Lance, I, Um, oh hells you're just, WHY CAN'T I SAY THIS MAMORA HELP ME!” Kolivan yelled into the dusk. 

“I - no. fuck it, I’ll suffer.” He started to pout and Lance started to softly chuckle, each sound felt like the first drops of rain in a desert. 

“Its ok, Kolivan, I like you too,” Lance replied. He stood on his toes and jumped slightly, which only served to get him a quick peck on the curve of Kolivan’s jaw but it was enough to shake him to his core. Lance smiled cheekily and ran off to the pod, and Kolivan took of after him, his longer legs an advantage and he easily scooped Lance in his arms and nuzzled into Lance, his face smooshed into Lance’s neck he peppered kisses reverently over Lance’s face and neck, chuckling at the half hearted batting Lance made in his direction. 

They made it to the pod just about and it was a struggle to not show Lance how much he was wanted, how much Kolivan wanted to show Lance his love. As soon as they were in space, they set the autopilot on. Sure, there wasn't as much of a smooth journey but damn, they had just made it together and were taking the privacy. 

Lance climbed onto Kolivan as they were safely out of the planet’s orbit. Lance straddled his lap, ensuring Kolivan's undivided attention. Not like there was anything else. He ignored messages and sent an automated message. Lance looked like he had just been gifted the world by catching Kolivan for himself. He started to kiss along Kolivan’s jaw and worked his way to his mouth. Then they finally, _finally_ locked lips, both moving against each other, worshiping each other. 

Kolivan felt the softness of Lance’s lips as he opened his mouth to deepen their kisses. He swiped along Lance’s mouth and heard a groan of pleasure and felt Lance quicken the pace, devouring all that Kolivan had to give and more. It wasn't like Kolivan wasn’t doing the same thing. It was like the last few months of pining had not gone unnoticed and probably hadn't. They were playing a dangerous game, being in love during an intergalactic war. Fate wasn’t kind to those kind of lovers, but Kolivan was going to take all he could get and give all that he could. 

They didn't go further than kissing, but Kolivan spent most of the ride home with his hands holding Lance, cradling his face, his head, playing with his hair, learning everything he had wanted to in the nights he could sleep and stared and wondered about Lance. Lance seemed to be doing the same, but instead of worshiping with his hand and gentle touches, Lance was using his mouth. Kissing his neck, his jaw, anywhere he could with the suits. 

But it came to an end when the Castle ship came into view on the screens.

“Are we a thing? Like are we - you know?” Kolivan asked as he gestured between them. Lance, who looked a bit drunk on love nodded dreamily. 

“I dont think I’m going to be leaving your room at night now,” Lance replied, his voice sultry and flirty and Kolivan almost swooned. He had seen Lance flirt, but he couldn't deal with it fully on him. 

“Are you from space? Because you’re out of this world,” Lance whispered into Kolivan’s ear, playing with the tufts of fur and loose hair. 

“Wanna make a binary system with me?” Damn, Kolivans skin was heating up. He just couldn't handle it.

“You’re so fine, you made my telescope extend.” Oh Mamora help him they were getting worse and the castle was getting closer and closer.

“If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.” 

“Hell, I like you so much, Lance, how are you so perfect?”

Lance gave a squeal of indignations. 

“I'm covered in blood and I need a shower, at least continue to woo me when I'm clean!” 

It was hard to not look at Lance during the debriefing, hard to do anything when he could still taste Lance, smell him, imagine those pick up lines but in a completely different situation. Against a wall, in a closet or alcove, in a shower, _on their bed_ it truly was their bed now too. 

Kolivan smiled and caught Lance’s eye, that mischievous glint was there and proclaimed trouble, Kolivan was fine with that. It would keep him on his toes.

The only thing he hoped was that he was allowed some time to be with Lance and that he would have no regrets if something happened to him or Lance. 

It was war. Nothing came without a price.


	4. It's You And Me Until The Grave.

It had been a month, or just a bit more than that first night as a couple and they were still fighting the war nearly every day. Everything came as a precaution, each day could have been their last. They wanted to make sure they had no regrets, that they experienced everything of each other. Neither of them were the other’s firsts, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was the small precious thing they had and each other.

They had just come back from a hard mission, and they had barely made it back to their room without causing a second public indecency warning. The first time, Lance liked to remind people, wasn't their fault, the walls were just unfairly thin. As soon as the door hissed shut, Kolivan had Lance pinned against a wall, and completely at Kolivan’s mercy. He leant down to help support Lance’s weight as he whispered into his ear, his breath tickling the skin. 

“How do you want me to fuck you? You want it hard and fast against the wall, making you beg, overstimulated? Or do you want it on the bed, seeing how far you can bend? Or my personal favourite, we fucking wing it but you are mine.”

Shivers found their way down Lance’s spine and he was sure the cybernetics would short out. 

“Choose, I want you, I just want you in me,” he moaned, already feeling himself harden.

“But first we need to prepare you.” He pressed his mouth to Lance’s and Lance eagerly kissed back. Kolivan hauled Lance up and Lance wrapped his legs round the other’s waist. With little ceremony, Lance was placed on the bed and Kolivan got to work, little gasps came out which turned into moans and groans as Kolivan’s hand found its way to his crotch. Stroking his inner thighs, thumbing his hip bone, hitting all the right places. Kolivan’s other hand reached for the zip and pulled it down. Lance let out a whine of displeasure as Kolivan helped him take it off, missing the contact, but he more than happily peeled Kolivan’s uniform off. 

Lance would never stop marveling Kolivan. He still pined and was proud to show his boyfriend off, but here, this was all his. Kolivan moved them up the bed and moved himself on top of Lance. The weight of Kolivan was comforting and just right. Kolivan’s hand came back down and stroked Lance up and down and Lance arched into it. He was already hard and wanted more. He wanted all of Kolivan. 

Lance felt the heat rise off Kolivan’s skin, the patches of fur silky against his own skin. He hadn't even realised that Kolivan had reached for the lube that he kept in the room. He felt the cold liquid pressed against his rim as Kolivan gently pushed in a finger, then another soon afterwards. Kolivan started to scissor him open, pumping the fingers and slowly adding more. Lance couldn't help but moan, Kolivan’s name a prayer on his lips. 

“Kolivan, please, please I need you! Hells, please!” He could barely think straight, and all the while, Kolivan kept moving in him, making sure he was ready, and kissing any and all available patches of skin. 

When Kolivan was satisfied, he removed his fingers and lubed up his own cock, and lined up, gently pushing in, allowing Lance to get used to the sensation of Kolivan’s cock in his arse. 

They languidly kissed and Kolivan started to gently move as Lance rolled his hips upwards, urging Kolivan on. Soon the gentle thrusts turned hard and full, and with each thrust, Kolivan’s cock brushed against Lance’s prostate, and Lance felt elated, as pleasure kept building up in him. 

Kolivan then pulled out as he changed his position, throwing Lance’s legs over his shoulders and kept up the punishing pace, edging Lance closer and closer to the edge but then pulled out once more just on the brink.

“Is your back ok in that position? I’m so sorry I didn't think,” Kolivan asked, a hand tenderly caressing his cheek as the other lazily stroked Lance’s cock that was leaking precome. He then started to draw little patterns on Lance’s skin and Lance was just getting achingly hard, more than he had earlier. The care and love his boyfriend showed filled his heart with love. 

“I’m fine, but if you want we can change it round, but did you have to stop then?” he asked, taking as much mock offence as he could.

“Of course, how else am I meant to make you scream my name.” Kolivan’s hand had returned to Lance’s cock, the other on his own, he pulled and squeezed in the right places and Lance could feel the pleasure building again, reaching a pinnacle when Kolivan thumbed the slit on the head, but as soon as he started to moan loader and pleading for release it stopped. 

“Ride me,” Kolivan demanded, and ooohhh, Lance found that he may have a slight kink for that, and he was more than happy to oblige. Lance rose up and pushed Kolivan down, Kolivan with a hint of surprise and Lance with a smug smirk. 

Lance would have fun with this. 

He straddled Kolivan’s legs, to settle himself a bit below Kolivan’s cock, and decided to exact his revenge. He looked at the long cock and ran a finger softly up the shaft, and felt the shiver that came from it. He then decided to blow a slightly cool breeze, making it twitch, and damn Lance was really getting it on, but somehow managed to remain some sort of calm. 

Kolivan was a mess underneath Lance, moaning and begging to be in him, a mess of fluids covered the pair and both on the verge of being overstimulated with l their edging. 

“Lance, _now._ ” Kolivan commanded, and Lance complied with an evil grin plastered on his face. 

“You asked for it then.” Kolivan knew he was fucked and gonna be fucked. Lance angled himself up and slid halfway down Kolivan’s cock, not allowing either of them pleasure. Kolivan started to thrust up as hands gripped Lance’s hips and sharply pulled Lance down. Lance almost saw white but decided to go with it, slowly grinding against Kolivan while gently pulling his own cock. 

Then just as Kolivan looked like he had got too comfy he changed it, bouncing on Kolivan’s cock hard, fast then slow and sensuous, then completely erratic all at random. Then he saw white and come splurted all over Kolivan, the white stark over Kolivan’s purple skin and into the fur. 

“Come for me Kolivan.” And he did, Lance felt the heated liquid inside and felt it for a good time, so different from another human and yet so much _better._

Lance moaned as Kolivan slipped out, and the warmth radiated from their bodies as Lance collapsed on Kolivan’s chest, completely wiped out. Not caring about the mess of liquids that he fell into or the ones leaking out of his arse onto the sheets. Months down the line and he still had no idea how he had managed to catch Kolivan’s eye. He was ashamed to say there had been a lot of pining. His conversations with Hunk and Pidge were mostly teasing him about his crush on Kolivan, which were now about how ridiculous the pair were nowadays.

“Hey, let's get cleaned up,” Kolivan whispered, each word separated by kisses on his jaw, his cheek then his mouth. They managed to get to the shower easily, both overstimulated and in no mood to continue. They craved the intimacy, getting the hard to reach spots on Kolivans back, Kolivan washing Lance’s hair and the way they could just lean against each other, pretending they were dancing in the rain. 

When they had left and dried off, they remembered they had to change the sheets. Lance groaned and complained the entire time. 

“If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have to do this!? You and you're oh so perfect cock!” Lance grumbled under his breath.

“But you love ‘that perfect cock’,” Kolivan replied snarkily, the laughter in his voice evident. 

“That… is most definitely true. Death by dick isn't such a bad way to go.” Lance contemplated. Kolivan gave him a gentle tap round the head while smiling. Lance felt his chest warm and the fuzzy feeling of adoration crept in. Lance knew it wasn't truly love yet but it was on the way. 

Lance and his friends had started to do even more damage to the Empire than they had in the last six years. They were able to hit bigger targets and start making significant change. More and more planets opened for refugees and those escaping the Empire, now that they were free. But they also had more down time, not having to worry, as the best part was, they had managed to snag Earth. 

It had been a long battle that had lasted days, people being switched out and others dying, Voltron itself barely had any sleep. But they freed Earth, a statement on its own. His family was free and safe. They had provisions like none they had seen before and Lance knew that they would be happy for as long as they could.

They had more humans in the castle too, and they had managed to get better food. No more mono-flavoured food goo for them. Hunk became a _very_ wanted man. His method of stress relief became his success. True, he was still going on missions but Hunk was in demand in the kitchen. Hunk smiled more and definitely did not have a small crush on one of the Balmerans who he worked with. It was good to see him happy. 

It was one such moment of down time. Keith, Hunk and Lance were lounging around in a common area, all piled on top of each other. 

“So, Keith. How’s Regris these days?” Hunk asked offhandedly, and Lance grinned, knowing what was coming. 

“He’s good, and so good looking too? I mean he’s got such a lovely smile and damn he laughs at my jokes and they're awful, and sometimes when I feel down he hugs me and oh my days just, and how his tail feels around my waist,” Keith rambled. “Wait….”

Hunk just grinned evilly,

“HUNK!” Keith yelled, and Lance dissolved into laughter. 

“Keith, it’s cute. He likes you, hell that subspecies of Galra only do that for people they are close with! He likes you Keith! Ask him out!” Lance explained once he could breathe and with a few threats from Keith. “They wrap their tails to hold people close and to show support and love. Love, Keith! Go get your space boyfriend!”

“Like you did? Walls are thin Lance. So very thin. I’m never going to recover.” Keith replied, Hunk joined in. 

“Don't forget the pining, ‘oooh Kolivan smiled at me, but we’re just friends’,” mimicked Hunk, getting scarily spot on. 

“They’d be like, “Oh, I’ll smile at you and pretend I don't have feelings but no homo.’” Keith mock swooned, emphasizing the last words.

“I’ll keep your back safe, figuratively and literally and stare at you for hours, but no homo.” Hunk joined in immediately.

“We sleep next to each other most nights and do nothing but cuddle, but no homo.”

“I would run into battle to save you and both of us have multiple times and literally cry with happiness at the fact you're alive, but no homo.” Now they were having too much fun with this.

“I camp out outside every time you're in a pod and refuse to move, but no homo.” Keith and Hunk had descended into a fit of giggles, holding onto anything they could for support so they didn’t fall off the sofas. 

“Ok guys, I get the point,” Lance laughed, covering his face in his hands. They were making a scene. “Were we really that bad?”

“Yes!” Came the resounding reply, even some of the others in the room joined in because apparently they were that obvious to everyone but themselves. Just great, Lance thought to himself. 

Later that evening, Lance and Kolivan lay basking in each other, spooning in the bed. Kolivan had his arms wrapped around him holding Lance close, both of Lance’s legs locked into place by Kolivan’s, the warmth from the pair of them more than enough with the weight of the duvets too. It was bliss. 

“I hope you get teased as endlessly as I do.”Lance grumbled into Kolivan’s chest. 

“Aw, did someone get mocked then?” Obviously Kolivan was going down the same route as his best friends.

“I mean? I know I was a pining fool, I just hope Antok and the others are just as mean as the others are to me. I mean, Keith and Regris are worse?!” Lance said, still managing to gesture wildly despite the comfortable lack of space.

“Poor Regris, he’s trying. He keeps showing Keith he's interested but also, ‘what if he doesn't like me like that? I can't lose a friend that good’. They need to actually talk about this.”

“Coming from the man who confessed when faced with the sight of me covered in blood.”

“You looked badass and you know it. Like you just emerged from smoke with the best backdrop and the lighting and the blood just made you look so damn good,” mumbled Kolivan as he nuzzled into Lance’s neck, making sure he knew he was loved. Lance laughed as the fur and the end of Kolivan’s braid tickled his skin. 

“How does some revenge sound to you?” Kolivan asked, breath warm and hot and started to kiss Lance’s neck, leaving hickies in his wake. 

“Yes, if it’s the same idea I’m having. I love it when you talk to me like that.” He managed to get out before Kolivan’s mouth found his and consumed his very being. Kolivan kissed him deeply, his touch reaching in and meeting Lance’s. A hand ran through Lance’s hair and held his head close as their mouths moved with each other. Their breath was warm and their lips met again. Lance nibbled on Kolivan’s bottom lip and Kolivan moaned, deep and low. 

They didn't sleep that night. 

The next few days were spent getting their plan sorted, setting up the moment and making sure everything happened smoothly. 

 

Trying to get the pair in the same place turned out to be impossible. When they were together it was neither the right moment or not enough of a mood needed for a match making. It was driving Lance insane. 

Lance was standing with Keith as they talked during a diplomatic event, greeting some of the new members of the alliance. They were trying to persuade them that not all humans were with the Empire. The species was a small snail slash humanoid race that called themselves Arusians. They had taken a bit of convincing and had sacrificial tendencies. Lance hoped that something would change. It was hard enough keeping Keith from fighting one of the little guys. He hoped Kolivan and the other Galra would arrive soon. He was starting to tire of the small talk and judgemental looks. 

However the peace didn't last long. One of the Arusians challenged Keith to a fight, and Keith being the calm collected person, rushed in agreement and got his dagger. Apparently the Arusian was their bravest fighter and it was his dream to take down a human. This will end in tears, Lance thought as he watched the two circle each other. Hurry up Kolivan, or there's not gonna be a Keith for Regris to profess his undying love to. 

The two ended up rolling on the floor, more wrestling than fighting but with full violence. Both were covered in blood from shallowish cuts, because of course Keith didn't wear any armour. But then it changed when the Arusian managed to get a cut on a vein. Blood spurted out with each beat of Keith heart. 

To make matters worse, _that_ was when Regris walked in. Keith was on the floor ripping part of his shirt to cover the wound but Regris ran to him as he could see him start to sway a bit. Blood was pooling where he sat. He picked Keith up and ran to the med bay, murmuring to Keith, presumably telling him it was ok, stroking Keith’s hair and glaring at anyone that got in the way. 

Because Lance was always down for drama, but also because he wanted to check up on his friends, he followed - apologising as he went. Regris may have terrorised some of the people who were less experienced with Galra behaviours. 

Lance walked in to Regris gently placing Keith into a healing pod. He rested his forehead against the glass as the pod started to work. Regris really did care for Keith, and Keith was too oblivious to see just how deeply. Regris slumped against the pod, probably thinking about how it could have been worse, how he could have lost Keith. It would take an hour or two till Keith popped out, enough time to talk to Regris. 

“Hey, you ok?” Lance asked, softly approaching him. 

Regris looked up and sighed and placed his head in his hands. His frill was up and he was definitely in extreme distress. 

“I will be. I just. I could have lost him. It was only a cut but it was a major vein. I don't want him to die without knowing how I feel, even if it pulls us apart.” Regris’s voice was hoarse, and so sad it broke Lance’s heart. 

“Hey, he will be out soon. I promise only good will come if you confess. He’s just oblivious if it isn't anything on a mission. Hell he forgot his own birthday despite us not being subtle in the slightest one year. I’ve known Mr Grumpy Pants here long enough to know when he likes someone,”

“I hope he is happy with them, he deserves the universe, even if it’s not me who hands it to him.” Regris just deflated, accepting that the two of them were not meant to be. Both of them were melodramatic and just so in love it hurt, for everyone really. Lance couldn't tell exactly what he was thinking but he would try to alleviate some of those fears. 

“Regris, it’s you,” Lance said bluntly. “He does like you, he’s just Keith, he shows it with his Keithy-ness.”

That got a laugh out of Regris and for the next hour or so, Lance was providing dirt to Regris, getting him to laugh and seeing him fall that much more in love with someone with a hairstyle from the 1980’s. They really did deserve each other and were good for them too. 

An alarm beeped soon enough and Regris stood up quickly, arms open ready to catch Keith, who literally stumbled into them, and curled in them and allowed Regris’ tail to wrap around his waist, holding them there. 

“Keith, I... Well you see... Fuck it, Keith I like you so much. You make my life better for being in it and you care so much even if it's behind a pout. Your laugh is like starshine and I never want to be away from you.” Regris was forgetting how to speak, he was so lost in Keith being in his arms and alive, so very alive. 

Keith stood there in shock. Regris, sensing Keith’s shock, unwrapped his tail and took a step back and then another. Keith, who had caught up with his senses, embraced Regris, cupping his face and pulling him the inch or so down to his level, and they started to kiss each other as if their lives depended on it. 

“As much as I’m happy you guys get to suck face, GET A ROOM!” Lance laughed as Regris then threw Keith over his shoulder. 

“This is for scaring me,” Regris told Keith as he walked out the room. 

“Hey! I was trying to impress you!!! Though, your ass is impressing me more,” replied Keith and even Lance was flushing because who knew Keith could be such a smooth talker. It was probably Lance’s good influence after all. 

Lance soon followed suit as he went to find Kolivan, and when he did, Kolivan was blushing a deep purple and a look of pure mortification on his face. 

“I saw Regris and Keith. Together,” muttered Kolivan,clearly traumatised and Lance couldn't help but laugh. He couldn't even stand he was laughing that hard. 

“How? We had a plan? You know what I don't want to know, only that I don't want to see _that_ ever again.” 

Lance just lost it even more.

 

The war continued, and as more of the Empire was dismantled, the Empire retaliated with more force, ferocity and heartlessness. It took everything Lance had to stick to his morals and integrity, not for one moment accepting any unnecessary loss of life. Privately he mourned. He mourned and made sure that the dead were buried in the way their culture dictated. 

But sometimes, sometimes there were lives he could change for the better, saving even one person. Then one mission changed everything. 

A transport ship that carried medical aid was targeted by the Empire. Hunk had been part of the effort to protect it as it carried life saving cargo, but it was not enough when what felt like the full force of the Empire let loose on it. Lance was there inspecting the wreckage, seeing if anything could be salvaged. There were a few cases here and there, then on the screens there was a small life sign, a pod. 

The ship had been planet hopping and thus had no need for warp capacity. It only traveled a few light years per hour but it was more than enough time to carry and raise a child if a family was aboard. He just hoped that the life sign wasn't about to fade. 

Using the booster pack to guide his direction, he slid to the pod and wiped some of the permafrost off of the pod to see a kit, no older than a few phoebs, in stasis. Their parents gone and no hope other than with him, he returned to his own ship with the pod cradled to his chest. 

Lance was no stranger to saving children but this felt different. This kit would wake up gone and never know anything different to what they would grow up with. 

“...ance? Over.” Hunk’s voice projected through the ship by the operating systems. 

“Receiving, I have a guest it seems. Is it safe to stay? Over.” he asked as he lay the pod on his lap so he could see the kit.

“Yes. Not for long though. Hour tops really. Over.”

“That's all I need.” Lance smiled as he let the stasis reverse. 

Soon enough it hissed open and the kit was asleep, breathing gently but not awake just yet. He noticed the note that had been placed in the pod and read it. 

_Please help her, Her name is Morag. Don't let our Sun go out._

The galran script was shaky and tear stained. A second note was tucked into the blankets Morag was bundled in. Her parents knew what was coming then and decided to save her. He folded up the letter and watched as Morag started to stir awake. 

Bright gold and purple eyes opened wide and stared for all of one second before she started to wail that the face she saw wasn't one of her parents. Lance mercifully had experience and started to hum, trying to imitate the sound Kolivan used to help calm himself down. 

It worked to some degree when the child climbed from the pod into his chest and stayed there, clinging onto him for dear life. Lance raised a hand to her back and started to run his hand up and down, trying to calm her down. As soon as he could he joined the others as they made their way back to the castle ship. 

Coaxing the girl away from him seemed to be harder than he had originally thought. Morag clung to Lance’s leg and refused to be parted from him, even when they had tried to explain she would find a new family. But she stood fast and clung on. She would only listen to Lance and he remained the only one who could calm her. There were some clear separation issues, and damn did Lance know about that. 

Lance lead Morag to a quieter place and let her hug him and within minutes of being comfy, he was hugging her back just as fiercely, reassuring her and making sure she felt safe. He looked down at the kit and felt his heart bloom with warmth and an intense desire to protect and cherish. He didn’t want her to go. He wanted her. 

Kolivan soon found him with Morag on his chest, finally asleep. Lance’s hair was up on all ends after Morag had tried to style it. He thinks. Maybe it was just a kit thing to calm themselves. 

“Who’s this Lance?” Kolivan asked, eying up the kit. 

“No need to get jealous of a child. I rescued her. I, I think I love her,” Lance replied. His voice was low and careful. Morag only fell asleep a few minutes ago. “Her name is Morag.”

“The Great, The Sun. Sister to Mamora, Goddess of Death. Here. Let me.” Kolivan sat next to Lance, who was tucked in the corner chair. He cradled the child in his arms and damn Kolivan looked good like that. 

“How old is she then?”

 

“Probably seven phoebs? I wouldn't be surprised if she hasn't said anything yet. Give it a few cycles.” Kolivan started to make that noise again and Morag’s tail flicked and she cuddled up even closer. 

“Well, at least parenthood looks good on you,” Lance quipped and in reply got The Look. 

All three fell asleep like that. When they woke up, Morag refused to be moved. She wanted to stay with them, her fur bristled and stood on end. She would however walk to Keith on occasion. It was one such moment when they addressed the elephant in the room. 

“We can’t keep her. It’s unfair, for all of us. This is _war._ I know we said no regrets but this will have to be one. I love her already but I can't let her live here,” Lance said. 

“I know, I didn’t even know I had those paternal instincts. All I want to do is protect her and give her the universe. Just, maybe, maybe this is the safest place. We know where she is, and this is the safest place and the castle always stays in safe galaxies.”

“But do we want a child? I... A child is a permanent decision, for both of us. I don't want to make her the one that suffers the most,” Lance said, a frown on his face as he slumped over. Kolivan’s hand was placed on his back, rubbing where the cybernetics met bone. 

“I think we’re strong enough for her and for ourselves. She gives me another reason to fight harder. Morag deserves loves and we have more than enough to give.”

“You're talking like she’s ours already.” Lance smiled as Kolivan’s hands ran down his sides.

“Well isn’t she?” Kolivan replied. “We will also get a bigger set of rooms. Imagine what we could do then? How we would play with our girl, find cute clothes for our kit, make her the happiest child on the ship. I feel the love she has for us and I don't want to abuse it or let it go. She trusts us. I say we go for it, go for us as a family. ”

“I like that idea, as long as I’m Papa.” Lance danced his hands over Kolivan’s chest, and the night was filled with delighted moans from the both of them and aggressive notes slid under their door. They weren't the only ones that night either. 

Kolivan and Lance never gave up their care of Morag and petitioned to have her with them, as their daughter. She rarely spoke but they found she just didn't want to rather than being unable, prefering to use sign language, and like her two parents, had a knack for stealth. Lance was filled with more pride when one day, Morag was stalking Kolivan. He was even more amused when Morag did catch him. He went down, going full on with the dramatics, his tongue lolling and leaving Morag giggling and clapping his hands. 

They were right about the bigger room. When they were finally assigned one, fifteen cycles after they officially adopted Morag, they moved in. Until then, Morag had been nestled between her dads, and though Lance was more often than not kicked off the bed, it was worth it. 

Their new rooms had a small living area for them, then two rooms with the bare minimum for furniture - beds and wardrobes and in Lance’s shared room, a desk. There was also a slightly larger bathroom with an actual bath. Lance thought he could cry at the bath. He actually did the first time he used it. 

All three had fun decorating Morag’s room, watching her laugh and giggle, directing them around and being the all round boss. Lance knew she was going to go far, and she had her daddies wrapped around her little finger, had since the day they saw her. 

Though they still carried out their missions, they made sure they were short ones, even if they were dangerous. There was too much at stake and they had more reasons to come back alive. At one point, Kolivan fought an entire regiment to get back to Lance and their daughter. 

Lance found himself living for the domestic moments, Morag going all fluffy after having a bath as he dried her off, and doing her hair into braids. Playing with toys or honing her instincts in their living area, or time spent with her multitudes of aunts and uncles. Even Allura had warmed up to the kit. She often got into trouble, but at the very least, she was very adorable about it. 

 

Before Lance knew it, it had been three years in space. Three years older, two years having a boyfriend and one and a half as a father. He had worked so hard. He was doing more and more damage against the Empire than he had ever hoped when he was an Abandoned. He never forgot his roots. His family had met the one he had made for himself, and everyone had fallen in love with Morag. His siblings doted on her and when they were allowed shore leave, or in their case planet leave, they were able to relax and forget that a war was raging above their heads on Earth, which was now a Voltron aligned planet. The official proclamation did cause the heaviest fighting he had seen. He had made sure Morag had not been on the Castle but he survived and he came back. As did Kolivan. That’s all that mattered. That they came back. 

More humans joined the cause as the extent of the pain the Empire had inflicted became apparent. Slavery was rife, similar to that of Earth so many centuries ago, except it wasn't just human, many other species were included. Then there was the appalling conditions and resource draining just to fuel wars and ‘space exploration’. Or as, Lance spat, colonization. 

They had grown and now truly were a force to be reckoned with. With the hope they were inspiring, planets fought for themselves and though each battle got harder and more vicious, Voltron had learnt a lot from the initial five humans, that this time, the outdated tech was the best to use. They never had the same tactics twice, but the Empire had more than a century to grow and expand. And they had, overpopulation had been solved when most humans left the Earth and took over other planets. 

Lance had grown too. He had broadened out and his muscles had become more defined. Kolivan barely changed, only his braid got longer. But he was happy in most respects. It would have been better if he wasn’t fighting an intergalactic war and had the chance to be with his small family. Too many times he had thought about what it would be like to live in safety and forget it. But as much as he wanted to do that, he knew fighting this war was in his blood. For half his life he had fought and he would see it through. 

So, it was to his great surprise that Kolivan and Morag kept disappearing and excluding him from conversations. Hunk kept avoiding him as did Pidge. Shiro wasn't any help either, saying it will work out and that patience yields focus. Keith too was little help. He and Regris had been going strong and were definitely planning something, probably their anniversary even though neither seemed to be the type to celebrate it. 

It became tiring as he wandered from missions - assassinations, spy work or general fighting - back to somewhere that was starting to feel wrong. Kolivan started to spend less time with him, only at night, when they cuddled or fucked. 

He was just another body. 

He didn't need to be told, the signs were there. So, the night he realised he crept out of Kolivan's grip. They had fucked earlier and Kolivan had passed out soon after, but Lance was kept up by his thoughts. He really did love Kolivan. They had even said so on many occasions, but now it felt hollow, and as usual, he cared more than his partner. Doomed eternally to love and care harder and more fiercely, so much that he inevitably scared the other away. It was better to rip the plaster off now, end it know so he could fight again. 

He made sure to place a kiss to Morag’s forehead while she slept, clutching her tail. He wondered what she was dreaming about. Kolivan was good for her, better than he was. He accepted her and hoped that one day she would forgive him. He hated himself for leaving but this was once such time to be selfish. He didn't want to pick up even smaller remains of his already broken heart. 

He took one last look as he exited the rooms, and it was as if he was never there. Lance gave himself a small sad smile and walked off to go sleep in a doorway. 

He wondered the corridors and saw that a pod was free. It wasn't his best idea but it was an idea. Earth needed a person who could liaise with Voltron, and why not Lance? He nabbed some ration packs, water pouches and detached the pod from the Castle and left for his home planet, back to his family and hopefully, away from the heartbreak. 

_Kolivan awoke to an empty cold spot. It had been phoebs since that had last happened, when Lance had started to share his bed. He was sure that Lance had been there after, in his arms and safe. They had a bit of time when Uncle Keith and Uncle Regris, as Morag affectionately called them, took her for the evening. They took the opportunity with open hands and allowed themselves to relax._

_But Lance was not there. He got up and looked into Morag’s room and was disappointed to only find one body in the room. Lance had a habit of going into her room if she had nightmares but not last night. He was concerned. He couldn't smell Lance’s scent. The few whiffs he did get were stale and old. He took a biosignature scan of the castle and he couldn't find Lance’s. He tried to back track but Lance was cleverer than that. He was a sniper and assassin, he would not be found if he didn't want to be._

_Kolivan felt lost. He didn't know what to do. He went back to his rooms and Morag was there waiting for him. He pulled her close and didn't want to let her go._

_“Where's Papa?” she asked._

_“I dont know, I’m sorry, I don't know,” he replied as tear started to fall and catch in the patches of fur that framed his face._

Lance finally made it to Earth and he landed in the Sonoran desert. There was one place he knew he would not be found, mostly because only five people knew about it and it was considered derelict, even by them. 

The pod bumped and skidded as it came to a halt near enough outside a shack. True, some bits were falling apart, but it was well stocked and a fairly decent safe house if any of them needed a bolt hole. When he stepped out of the pod, the majority of his bones cracked after sleeping and living in the same position more or less for a day. He was stiff, but being back on Earth, despite being a barren wasteland, felt good. He would let his heart grieve for a bit and then let his heart harden once more. There was no point anymore. Love only got him hurt, and he wouldn't let himself be hurt again. 

The shack provided a cool relief from the blistering sun and he got as comfy as he allowed himself. He threw off the dusty covers and settled himself down to allow himself to cry, so cry he did. 

Meanwhile Kolivan was losing his mind out of worry. Morag was in tears and he was trying to remain strong, because Papa wasn't there. Lance had also made himself important in Voltron. Everyone loved him. He made people laugh and he was magnetic. He made it feel less like a war when it was at their doorstep and he was one of their lead people when it came to missions. He had cell knowledge and use down to a tee. 

Mamora help them, he had single handedly organised a strike against multiple targets to happen at the same time using poisons that were incredibly rare. The Empire kept coming but Voltron was winning. Allura wanted Lance back for his tactics and his prowess. They were so close to taking the Empire down once and for all. However, Kolivan wanted him back for an entirely different reason. 

It took roughly half a movement to get a clue on Lance. He had been sighted on Earth. Kolivan didn't know why because it was somewhere far away from his friends. People had mysteriously disappeared on Earth too, people Lance used to work with. He thought Kolivan knew Lance, but clearly he didn't. He thought he knew Lance could handle Kolivan and Morag, sneaking off, he had the others and his missions. He never stopped loving Lance, telling him and showing him, but Kolivan guessed wrong it seemed. He thought he knew the small changes in Lance’s features, he thought he knew him. Maybe, maybe this was a bad idea. 

Nevertheless, Kolivan took a pod to Earth, and with a gadget Pidge made; the Find-Lance-O-matic-mk3.4, and he hoped the box would not be utterly redundant that was already burning a hole in his suit’s pocket. 

At first he tried Cuba, one of the first places he thought Lance would have run too. He felt the barrier recognise him and allow him entry as a thrill ran through him. 

The last time he visited, it had been left in ruins. But now in a matter of years it was a thriving metropolis of people, human and non human alike. Proving that they could live in harmony. He set up the device but nothing came up. 

He stayed at the base he had first been taken to, and it felt weird. He greeted some of the people he recognised while others praised him and called him an inspiration. He sighed and walked the route back to his room. All this time and he still knew the way. 

He set up a link back to the castle, he needed help. 

“Hello?” Pidge’s voice come over the speaker of the little box and her face popped up on the screen of the tablet. 

“Hey, did you guys know where Lance would run to? He’s not in Cuba, the device cannot find him on the island.” Kolivan couldn't hide the edge in his voice, how he was starting to overthink everything.

“It tracks quintessence and Lance’s is as unique as yours or mine. Back in the day, he would run to his family. That's the first place I would go but there were others. Bolt holes and safe houses we would all share. There is a chance he could be there. I’m sending the coordinates now. Just get him back, I miss my brother.” Pidge was sad, her voice, her demeanor, it was all off without Lance. He knew all the first five humans were incredibly close, and Lance’s disappearance was something they all felt. 

There was a chance it was all a big misunderstanding. It was war after all and nothing would let them truly rest. Not unless they were dead or the war was finally and truly over. He really hoped something was salvageable, even a friendship if he was lucky. He sighed and flopped on the bed for the evening. Sleeping was hard without Lance next to him. He wanted to know Lance was safe, was here. Know that Lance knew he was loved and wanted for all eternity. That Kolivan wanted to be by his side forever and always. Especially the little box in his pocket getting heavier and heavier. 

He let the scanner do its work overnight and prayed it found Lance in one of the coordinates. Kolivan didn't hear the dinging or the alarm Pidge had set for when Lance had been found. 

He woke that morning and wondered why music filled his ears. Something about hips not lying. Why would hips lie? He gave up the logic and turned to look at the offending item. A whirly bit of machinery was lit up and twingly obnoxiously at this time of the morning. Evening? Night? Kolivan didn't know and didn't particularly care, only that it had Lance’s signal. 

He got into the pod and plugged in the coordinates. He was going as fast as he could but it didn't feel fast enough. He was already chasing sunlight, chansing a vague hope that he wasn't too late, for anything. He crossed many waste zones and he saw what humanity had done to themselves. Long lost cities were covered in greenery as the metal was left to rust and deteriorate. Wildlife barely looked at the pod as he flow over, unaccustomed and uninterested, life started again on Earth, even the plant and wildlife was as resilient and the humans, and would last even longer, Kolivan thought to himself. 

It felt like cycles before he reached vast swathes of sand. Mile upon mile of golden brown, with the occasional rock. Lance was here? Did he crash land? Kolivan urged the pod to fly faster, and though it had only been a few vargas, his worry made him presume the worst. 

He was surprised to see an altean pod intact, and even more to see a small little building some distance from the pod. 

 

Lance heard the familiar whir of engines slow down and start to cool. He lasted two weeks, and it was longer than he had thought. He hadn't expected to get away with it in all honesty. It was probably Shiro or Allura come to pick his bones. Shiro would be the quietly disappointed dad, really. They were too good at being friends for him to be that angry. Allura was a different matter. Three years and she hadn't really warmed up to him, not that he could object. She was the head honcho of a full scale rebellion. 

He resigned himself to his fate and waited for the door to open and for the verbal blasting to ensue. 

The footsteps were hurried as they covered the wooden decking outside. The door flung open. 

There was no yelling. 

“Lance,” Kolivan breathed. Lance didn't even need to see the relief in Kolivan's face, but even so he flinched. He should be angry, especially after what he pulled. He stood there and waited for Kolivan to lay it on him. Deep down he knew Kolivan wasn’t that kind of person, but he wanted that anger because he didn't deserve the kindness. 

He felt the tentative steps as the floorboards moved and creaked, the presence of another body near his space and the overwhelming feeling of worry. He hadn’t meant to make them worry, just go for a clean break. Maybe he had wanted to be found, for someone to run after him for once, someone to catch his hand, to pull him back, to let him know he was wanted. 

And that was what Kolivan had done. 

“Hey, sweetheart, please look at me, I’m not angry or disappointed. I’m just confused. How did I hurt you?” Kolivan asked. Lance crumpled. He had already cried himself out. He thought he could harden his heart but it seemed his heart would run straight back to Kolivan. 

“I felt like you didn't want me. You kept going off with Morag and I? Maybe I was jealous or lonely or both but I just wanted to mean something more, to someone. Even the others were too busy and I’ve been trying to slow down on the missions like you asked, got that planet leave too when you wanted but it seemed like the closer I wanted to get to you the further you pulled away. We only saw each other at night when we would cuddle or fuck. That's not love, that’s just fuck buddies with cuddling benefits. I was just stupid enough to get a kit mixed up in it.” His voice was hoarse, from the dust, from the crying, from everything he had wanted to say and never could. 

“My love, oh my dear, sweet love. I promise I never meant for you to feel that. I was taking Morag out because I wanted her help. For this.” Kolivan got on his knee and Lance gasped. He hadn’t in his wildest dreams thought Kolivan would ask. Lance hadn't even thought about it himself. He knew Galra customs better and considered himself Kolivan’s already, well - before his escape. 

“Lance you make me so happy and I will never be able to show you how much I love you, and I hope I can show you everyday for the rest of my life, and more. Please, will you consider being my husband?” Kolivan asked, nervous and probably hoping he hadn't fucked it up beyond belief. 

“Yes, a million times and back yes. You didn't have to do this? I was happy with whatever galra customs, or anything you wanted, I just want you,” Lance replied and this time, the tears that fell were happy. 

“I didn't suffer an interrogation from your entire family, your friends and Antok to give up now. I want it to be me and you until the grave. Lance I love you,” Kolivan said, like it would be the last thing he would ever say. 

“Lemme stop you there, I need to kiss my fiance.” So kiss him he did. Lance pulled Kolivan to him and licked Kolivan’s lips, and started to nibble on his bottom lip. His hands started to play with the braid while resting his arms on Kolivan’s shoulders. Lance was going for it, more than he had ever given Kolivan before. For the first time, he gave everything he had. 

He heard Kolivan’s groan as his lips caught Lance’s once more, and they moved against each other, getting more and more rough. Kolivan’s hands, which had cupped Lance’s face, moved further down and pulled off the shirt Lance had been wearing. In all fairness, it was ripped in half and left to be shrugged off. Lance opened his mouth and allowed Kolivan to explore. It felt so good. Along with Kolivan’s hands running up and down his spine, hitting the sensitive skin in just the right time, he knew it was a matter of time before he got hard.

Kolivan must have thought the same, judging by the bedroom eyes he was giving him. Lance couldn't help but groan as Kolivan kissed him deeper and made sure he didn't leave again. Not that Lance wanted to. He kissed back with just as much vigour, used to Kolivan’s strength. 

“Kolivan,” he moaned as they finally parted, the need to breathe too much. Kolivan ghosted his hands down Lance’s sides and Lance threw his head back in ecstasy, moaning Kolivan’s name. Kolivan saw this invitation and kissed Lance’s neck, Lance’s jaw, then moved down to his chest. He then pulled down Lance’s trousers and his underwear, and Lance’s cock sprung up to attention, already hard. Lance could feel himself only get harder as Kolivan caressed his cock. A feather light touch that only served to tease him. 

Slowly, Kolivan had backed him into the sofa, and Kolivan pushed him down. 

“I wonder how many people have fucked on this sofa, or are we the ones to christen it? With me blowing you, making you come, makeing you beg for release. Then as soon as I've done that, you finger yourself open, and well? Why don’t I surprise you? But let's say all you’ll be able to think is the pleasure and my name. Do you want that? Do you want me to fuck you into this chair?” Lance would never forget how sultry and commanding that voice was. He groaned and nodded as Kolivan pressed against his cock harder. The pressure was getting unbearable. Any more and he was sure he would come there and then. 

“Let me get a sheet so we can clean up. No touching when I’m gone,” Kolivan commanded. Lance did as he was told, his erection aching from the lack of attention but hells he wanted Kolivan and Lance wanted him now. 

Kolivan came back with an unused sheet and covered the sofa, which was big enough to act as a single bed. Kolivan started to kiss Lance’s collar bone while sucking on it as he pushed Lance onto his back, gently making sure he didn't cause damage to Lance’s spine. He pried open Lance’s legs once Lance was settled and stared into Lance’s eyes. He in turn stared in wonder, lost in Kolivan’s golden eyes. He hadn't even noticed that Kolivan had lowered himself to lie on top of him, or that they were both now completely naked. He was now Kolivan’s, and damn the thought alone sent shivers down his spine. 

“Now, be good and don't come until I want you to. You’ll know when,” Kolivan said and kissed his way down Lance’s torso until he was met with Lance’s cock. It didn't help that Kolivan’s own cock was swiftly growing, and Lance could feel the tip against his arse. 

Kolivan starting to lick the base, gently fondling Lance’s balls, and damn it was hard, it was like he was back when he was inexperienced and trying to find what worked. He didn't want to come yet, but damn Kolivan wasn't making it easy. 

“Jesus Christ,” he moaned as Kolivan started to lick teasingly up, and then rather abruptly, it stopped. Lance let out a pitiful whine, begging for more. 

“He couldn't come, so I did,” Kolivan replied easily and turned his attention back to Lance. He massaged his inner thighs while licking slowly up Lance’s shaft, placing a kiss at the base and the head each time. Each time, Lance felt excitement and pleasure build, just a tease of what was to come. Then Lance felt Kolivan’s mouth on the head of his cock and damn, Kolivan was good, sucking on it while his tongue teased it, brief touches and caresses. 

All of a sudden, Kolivan took his full length and sucked hard, then started to bob his head. Lance‘s grip on the sheet was turning his knuckles white. He was whining and moaning, begging for more, for release, all the while Kolivan kept sucking him off. When Kolivan was satisfied he kissed the top and let his tongue nudge the slit. Knowing this was the signal, Lance felt like he had reached Nirvana as he let the pleasure that had been building run through him. He felt electric as Kolivan swallowed him down again, his head between Lance’s thighs that had him in a headlock, despite the trembling from his release. By hell he was screaming Kolivan’s name like it was the only thing he could say, which actually wasn't far from the truth. He must have whited out a bit as when he could think coherently, Kolivan was lapping up the come off of his dick. 

“Gimme,” he breathed hard and deep, “Gimme a moment. You’ve been holding out on me.”

Kolivan smirked as he finished with Lance’s cock. 

“I remember something about you opening yourself up, now be a good boy and give me a show.” Kolivan leaned back and fished out a small vial of lube. He didn't even want to know how Kolivan was prepared for this but he watched Kolivan play with his own cock, waiting for Lance to entertain him. Lance was getting hard again. He broke the vial and coated his fingers and pushed his index finger into his entrance, the cold lube stark against his warm insides. He slowly thrusted he finger in an out, then as soon as he felt ready he added a second. 

Lance, however, wasn't going to let Kolivan have all the fun. Lance was told to give a show, so give a show he would. He slowly added another finger and ground against them, starting to fuck himself on his own fingers. He then scissored himself open a bit more, enough for a third finger, which he used to thrust and nudge his prostate, each hit eliciting a short gasp and a wicked smile directed at Kolivan who was starting drool precome from his waiting cock. 

He kept at it ,teasing Kolivan, making him wait for Lance to be ready. Though Kolivan didn't need to know he was when he had added the fourth finger. Lance angled himself so that all Kolivan could see was his arse hole being scissored and fucked, moans and pleading being the only cues he was ready. 

“Fuck me, fuck me please, I’m ready, oooh, so fucking ready,” Lance whined when he gave up up on his fingers when they weren't enough. 

Kolivan was more than happy to oblige. He roughly pulled Lance up onto all fours and impaled Lance on his dick. Rapidly thrusting forwards and hitting all the right places, Lance was leaking precome, his hands fisted in the sheet. 

“Mine, all mine, pretty boy, looking so good for me. Taking me so well, especially after that show. Thinking you could tease me? Here’s your reward my love, a reminder you’re mine,” Kolivan said, his thrusts getting faster and harder, causing Lance to go over the edge once again. His arms gave out just after his cock spurted out the last string of come. He fell in the puddle of come and Kolivan gently lay on top of him as he thrust into him, finding his own completion moments later. 

Kolivan scooped Lance up in his arms, still inside of him, and kissed the base of his neck.

“You’re so good to me Lance,” Kolivan whispered. “I love you so much, you mean so much to me. I never meant you hurt you,”

“I shouldn't have ran or scared any of you. I’m so sorry. I was so scared of everything falling apart and being unwanted. Of being used for my skills. I let my insecurities run away. I promise to be more open. Hell, I love you so much, Starshine, so much it hurts.” 

Lance slipped off Kolivan’s dick so he could face him properly. A gentle kiss on the cheek and a shy smile. Then a sudden dawn of realisation. 

“Shit. Keith's gonna kill me that we did it on the sofa.” he realised with a sense of impending doom.

“That’s a future us problem, but for now, let's enjoy the fact there's no one around to hear you scream.”

When they returned, Lance faced a small chewing out but a lot of reassurances from his friends.   
Though he didn't miss Keith’s disappearance, or when he did come back to join them, there was a faint smell of burnt sofa. Ooops, Lance thought slightly guilty. It was about time Keith got a new sofa anyway.


	5. Road To Nowhere

War carried on despite the lives being lead. It was something that was unavoidable. Missions became tougher and the stakes were raised. Morag had been sent out of the castle to live with Lance’s family on Earth. They couldn't guarantee her safety anymore. They had too many targets on their backs and they were instrumental. A spymaster and an assassin couldn't run from their duties forever.

“I promise we will visit often. We will come back for you, sweetheart,” Lance murmured and patted her head, while Kolivan allowed the deep rumbling to help calm her down. He had taught her how to do the same, something to help her calm. They had also taught her how to sneak around without being caught and how to defend herself. It would be enough for her to survive and get out alive. 

The rooms felt empty without Morag, all children and those under a certain age were sent from the castle. They were so close. They just had to take down this one last bastion before they could go for their full out strike. 

Lance had gone on ahead a movement ago, going in deep. Kolivan hated the fact that he couldn't talk to his husband. His mate. The distance was killing him. He wanted to be there for Lance. It was a matter of time but Lance was in there without armour, his usual weaponry and his face in full view. It was dangerous and Kolivan couldn't help but worry. News travel fast and every single one of his targets in the bastion were dead by the end of the movement. So, here Kolivan was, in a smaller battle pod that was used as a first unseen wave. Guerilla tactics still worked in space. The pods were small enough to look like floating debris, and he could sneak on and take out who they could before the main fight started. 

This was one such fight. 

The bastion itself was a massive military space port. It had become heavily reinforced since their attacks on the Empire - there was no main villain in the Empire, just the humans that ran it. But Lance should have gotten to the shields, made sure that the top dogs were slain where they slept. 

On cue, the shield fizzled out and Kolivan, Antok and the other spies slipped through, attaching themselves to the towers that held the weaponry. Kolivan pulled on his mask and allowed it to pressurise and slipped out into the vacuum of space. He pushed off from the ship up to the base and gripped onto the cannon that was pointed into the void. He ripped open some panelling and started to cut the wires. Just the ones that sent the signals for firing, but avoiding the ones that sent a systems offline warning. Lance had been right all those phoebs ago, that in this war, old technology and workings were the best. 

Over their comms, they all sent their confirmations and then returned to the pods and back to their hiding places. Waiting was always the hardest part. Not knowing, allowing the mind to wander down thoughts he didn't want to dwell on. 

A red flare flew up into the space surrounding the bastion, the signal to attack. He was crouched in the pod, as he was riding a hoverbike. He had lasers and torpedoes firing behind him as the first wave fell from space. Small pods like his, weaving in and out, each with predetermined targets. Enemy pods started to leave bay and Kolivan let his body go into autopilot. 

He dodged and flew and shot. He knew his own ship like the back of hand and knew he could pull off some of the maneuvers. Explosions went off all around him, bodies floated in space and then the second wave hit. They came in and dropped foot soldiers, some to help get Lance and other agents to safety, others to take out any robots or empire soldiers. 

The third wave descended and cast ships from all over the universe on the bastion. It was only a fraction of the power that Voltron had amassed too. Chunks floated off into space and bodies were coated in ice. It was organised chaos. He hadn't even realised one of the Empire ships was heading straight for him. He saw the warning lights too late and there was no room to move, he would be sucked into the engines. It wasn't a good way to go. 

He prayed that Morag wouldn't miss him too much, that Lance would find happiness after him. He just hoped that he would die quickly and not in pain, just enough time to make his peace. 

It never came.

He felt a shockwave push his pod outwards, a large explosion took out the ship. Though incredibly well engineered, Lance knew the human race had a tendency to overdo it. It really was a weakness. The ship probably had hardware it had no business in having and thus, made it easier to blow up. He could imagine Lance’s signature grin. Only he could have made that shot. 

The battle waged for cycles. It became a seige, many of the Voltron forces swapping in and out, making the bastion weak when the remaining leaders refused to surrender. Kolivan had barely slept as he knew Lance was still in the bastion, without communication and hopefully not without hope. 

“How do we get Lance back?” Yelled Keith, ignoring Regris’ steadying hand. 

“We wait or we do something. Though it may be stupid, but then again, that's how the Empire of Humankind became so prevalent. Pure human stupidity.” Shiro rivaled Allura’s cunning and tactics. He took more risks but they sure as hell pulled off. Allura, despite her many years fighting this war, was too set in her ways and knew too little of human nature, prefering to indulge her time with her Queen’s Consort Romelle than learn from the humans. She always meant well, but too many phoebs of belief were hard to move past. Compared to where she was, they had moved further than anyone expected. 

“Shiro, is it best for one person even if it is Lance?” Humans cared too much. Alteans lived long enough to care enough to get the job done. 

“It is always best. We need as many as possible to be with us for the final fight,” Shiro replied solemnly. 

“Tell us,” Kolivan demanded. He wanted his mate here. He felt like he was going mad with not knowing.

“We send in more spies, locate them and break them out. They may be with the other humans, or they may be holed out somewhere. Though we would need to run a quintessence scan for a general location.”

“I am not sacrificing people for this,” Allura retorted. “I have more than one life to think about. I will miss him but he gave his life.”

“You’re talking about him like he’s dead already! I know he is alive. He made an impossible shot. My ship’s cameras could help with trajectory if we need to.” Kolivan placed his head in his hands. He was going spare. He either wanted to mourn or to go find his husband, not this purgatory in between. 

“Allura might not but I will. I know his signature well. It will take a phoeb or two off of me, but it’s worth it to see Lance smile again,” Coran said, ignoring the look of fury from Allura. Coran had always had a soft spot for Lance and he had become family over time, becoming Lance’s Space Tio. 

“Let it be known I had no part in this if you fail,” Allura said as she left the room, Romelle waiting for her outside the war room. 

 

Kolivan did not wait around. Antok, Regris and himself suited up, taking the bare minimum that they needed. They each had a blade strapped at the hip, a rifle and a laser pistol as a worst case scenario. Bullets would hurt humans more as the laser wounds cauterized in most cases. They agreed that if they met anyone, they would either go for the kill shot or, if need be, use the surroundings to kill the human soldiers. A part of Kolivan knew some people were in the army because they had nothing else - shunned from society and forced in against their will while others took joy in the subjugation of others. But this was Lance involved, his husband, his mate, the one of the two things he cherished beyond everything else. He couldn't afford soft thinking. 

Kolivan had never seen people on the ship move as quickly as they did when Kolivan stalked through the halls, flanked by Antok and Regris. He hated the short wait for the others to get back to him. Mercifully, Hunk barrelled into the Control Room with Pidge hot on his heels screaming blue murder. 

“The North tower. In the middle of the North tower. They're holed up in a room and he has his cell with him. Stupid numbnut went and tried to save them. They have their masks in tact but they're basically in a supply closet. I’m not sure how long they have left until they are found,” Hunk panted, just as desperate as they were. 

Kolivan nodded and opened the first door to the airlock where the other two joined him. When the second one opened, they were flung out into space, tumbling and barrelling out at speed. He allowed himself a few ticks or so to find his bearings. He ignored how pretty the space was and what Lance’s comments would be and used his thruster packs to guide him to the north tower. 

The Empire ignored them, believing them to be debris. There was still a battle going on with the third wave, but they were drawing the Empire ships away from the base. Kolivan knew how most of the other leaders from the Voltron Alliance had grown to love Lance. Despite everything, he strove to find the best in near enough everyone, even if he didn't show it outwardly. He was suspicious but he wanted to be better than the rest of his species. 

He hated that he had time to think all that, that every tick he spent trying to get to Lance without being seen was more time that Lance could be discovered. 

It felt like an age had passed when they were able to grab onto the smooth metal. Regris shifted over to the nearest air lock and slotted a gadget onto the door, scrambling the circuitry momentarily. He had to thank Pidge for that later. 

They successfully moved into the tower, creeping in the shadows. There were a few soldiers, if he remembered the schematics correctly. This was where all political prisoners were kept, tortured too but not to the point where they died. He felt for them, he truly did, but Lance, he didn't want to think what they would do to him. 

But he actually did. Torture that the Empire would use as a pay per view, whipping with electrified whips, inserting needles and blades into his skin, stripping him of all dignity and being on the brink of death, only to heal him and do it all again. Then, when they felt they had humiliated him enough, a very, very public execution, slow and painful. 

They continued to stalk the tower, ignoring the cried of those stuck in the cells. They would be free soon enough if the remaining humans didn't blow it up. They had a tendency to do that. Maybe on the way back. 

They met a few soldiers and their laser pistols were enough to kill, a headshot or two, no big deal. He carefully avoided the bits of brain that covered the floor afterwards. He looked in every closet he could, relying on his hearing and the scent of _Lance_ to locate him. It took a while but they found him. 

Lance was unconscious on the floor as a broken helmet lay next to him, the rest of his cell looked up at them, fear in their eyes knowing that he was a self-sacrificial little shit who would always give his life. But none of them were able to do the same. He sent them out to be briefed by the other galra as to their escape. 

He knelt down and cradled Lance to him, feeling for a pulse or any sign of life. 

It was there, weak but there. Then blue eyes fell on him and he started to weep. He couldn't help it. There had been too many close calls. He didn't want it to end here, not when they were so close. 

“Save them, the kids too, the prisoners. They are kids,” Lance hissed out, using precious oxygen. Kolivan felt his heart plummet. Lance would never be able to let children suffer. Maybe it was from being part of a big family, or the fact that Morag was one of the best things in his life, or even Lance being Lance. 

Kolivan looked around for something, anything, he could use to keep oxygen flowing, grateful that there was a failsafe to stop air from being lost like this. He rummaged around in the space. He could have cried when he found an old mask, out of date, but it would last. He actually did when the familiar hiss of gas filling a space was heard. 

“Kolivan to Allura, send a pod here, the political prisoners are children. Over.”

The hiss of static was painful. 

“Castle ship approaching. Shields substantial enough to do so. Get them free. Over,” Allura tersely replied. One of the few things she and Lance could agree on, that children were precious and innocent in war. 

“Lance, stay with me, the castle is coming, just stay with me.” He prayed. Mamora knew when it was time to go. He just hoped this wasn't it. He kept whispering as comotion happened around them. He had Lance cradled in both arms, bridal style. The familiar thunk of the castle came as a relief and hurried there. They were the last but they were safe. 

There was also good news. 

The last of the humans had surrendered and were retreating back to the base. Most of the higher ranked officers had been watching from the gilded castles in the base, and left at the first sign of failure. The remaining foot soldiers didn't want to die for a cause most of them didn't believe in. 

The remainder of the humans were gathering in one of the courtyards as the Castleship and other ships hung a bit further away in orbit. 

Then there was an explosion and the shockwave jolted the ship as it dissipated into the vacuum of space. All that life on the bastion, gone. People who wanted to change for the better, to fight for something they believed in. The higher ups obviously never wanted anything to remain of their failure, or their information. But mostly the knowledge of their failure - they would talk and pay themselves out of it in the end, getting away with murder. 

The only good thing was Lance was asleep on the bed, poised to make a full recovery. 

Kolivan was lying down next to him watching him sleep, moving the strands of hair that fell in his sleep. He didn't want to wake him, content to feel the small puff of hot air that fell on his bare skin, having an arm around him, protecting him from the world. 

Pidge, Hunk, Shiro and Keith had come in to visit, as did Antok and Regris. All of them concerned and had enjoyed his presence. Antok soon ushered them out when he sensed Kolivan’s protective instincts kick in. 

Lance soon woke. Blue eyes met gold and they nuzzled closer together, trying to get as close as they could. Kolivan kissed his forehead and ran his hand over his back, easing the tension away from Lance. 

“Hey love,” Kolivan breathed, his voice tender and soft, and he loved the feeling of Lance’s lips on his, then his skin, fingers running through the fur on his arms, his head. The callouses lightly grazing his skin, and it was a sweet touch he would never tire of. He knew it wasn't going to last forever. They were on the way to the last bastion, the largest and the most essential. The Empire senate itself. They had a movement or two to go and they decided in the small hours of the night that they wanted to spend them together and with their friends. 

 

Regris spent a lot of time with them after he and Keith had become a pair and Antok was dragged along begrudgingly, a very sarcastic scowl on his face. The last day before shit hit the fan. They played one of the games that were on board, and let loose, leaving all the stress and sense of doom behind them. It wasn't often they were allowed to let loose. 

It was bittersweet. Keith was curled up into Regris, making promises to come back to each other, Regris’ tail wrapped around Keith making sure they weren't going anywhere soon without each other. It was sweet. Shiro, Hunk and Pidge had fallen asleep in a cuddle pile after eating themselves into a food coma on Hunk’s food.

It felt like they had escaped the war, that this is what it could have been without it. That one day, they could have met normally, forged friendships without the threat of death hanging over them. That they would be able to do so much more. Explore each others cultures and planets. It would have been nice. There would be so much he would change about how they met. He would have been kinder, more trusting. But he wouldn't change anything from that moment they became friends onwards. 

The eve before the end was melancholic. Lance was on Kolivan kissing him and cuddling. They didn't want to do anything physical. They wanted to bask in each other. Kolivan, for some reason, felt like it could be the last for a long time. He held Lance so close it hurt his heart. 

“I promise I won't ever leave you, Kolivan. Never. I don't want this to end. I, I love you so much, so so much it hurts sometimes. Everytime I think it ends, I always think of you and Morag. Even if Mamora takes me I know I’ll see you again. It makes it less scary. Kolivan. If I go for real because I’m trying to save someone please know, you and Morag are the best things I’ll ever have. No one is as good as you, hell, you even ruined everyone else’s dick for me.”

Kolivan let out a gentle huff of laughter, but it didn’t stop the tears that fell. Lance tangled his legs with Kolivan’s, and he buried his face in Kolivan’s neck and let himself breathe in Kolivan, learning what they felt like once again, committing it to memory because it could be very real that memory was all they would have. 

Sleep was hard to chase, so they gave up and cuddled till the castle sleep cycle alerted them to the start of the cycle. They kissed while they could, changed and walked down to the halls hand in hand. 

They went to their groups with one last aching kiss. 

“I’ll make it. I want to see what comes next,” Lance promised.

One last bruising kiss and their helmets slid on. Kolivan let his head rest on Lance’s looking down into the mask that he had first seen phoebs ago back on Earth. 

The Last Stand. Their only shot. 

Why did it feel like a goodbye?

 

Kolivan landed on the ground and ran. His mission was to take out the security systems. He had taken two of the four out already. Halfway there. He slipped through a door that had been left open in a hurry. Unlike the battle they last faced, it was a full on onslaught. Target attacks all at once. A full divide and conquer. Pieces of architecture fell all around him, explosions filled the air and all that stood between Voltron and the fall of the Empire was himself and two last security posts. 

In the control room for security, he slit the throats of the people in there, some no older than eighteen phoebs, but he had to ensure the mission’s success. The disarmament switches were biometric but there was enough warmth left in the corpses for him to flip the switches. Unfortunately they had learnt their lessons from their own attacks, cutting the wires were no longer an option. 

When the switch was flipped, the sound of machinery powering down would have alerted them to his presence. First the cannons and anti aircraft machinery had to be disarmed, then the first layer of shielding, then the electrical traps, which he had just done. These things wouldn't go down without interference. Someone would be on his proverbial tail soon enough. 

He smashed in a window and grabbed as many weapons as he could from the cooling bodies, and shot a zip wire down to the ground. There was full out fighting on the ground however and it took a lot of effort to not be seen or be hit. He had to gut a few humans on the way, but he had been desensitized to the view of guts and blood too long ago to care. All he needed to do was bring the last shield down and allow the five lions overhead to form and take the Empire when it was down on its last legs. His job would be done and he could go help the rest of his spies. 

Lance had the most dangerous job. To take out every high ranking official and officer so none could escape. One last job then blissful retirement for them both. 

Getting to the last station was hard. It was under the labs. It was heavily armed and highly explosive. The only chance he had was the vents. So he had no dignity but he also had no shame after so many phoebs with Lance so nothing was really lost. He shimmied through the vents and eventually dropped through an opening in the room he needed. 

It was chaos, each of them armed to the teeth facing every direction but up. They had laser pistols but didn't see the first knife until it was too late. The first knife sunk into the carotid artery of the first soldier. A second was downed by another knife to the forehead. Kolivan used that corpse as a shield as the others started to fire on him. Unlike bullets, laser fire did not travel through. They had become too dependant on technology it seemed and didn’t think of the variety of ways they could kill him. He grabbed one of the pipes and speared one of the soldiers and impaled them. 

Soon enough they all lay dead. The switch flipped and the shield came down. From the outside, all the attacks landed. He heard the collisions of torpedos and other weapons hitting their targets. He ran through the base, leaving the scientists who were evacuating the building despite being in one of the safest places. He needed to keep Lance’s back safe. He needed to help. 

He got out fairly quickly and saw the humans with the Empire fighting for their lives but with no direction at all. Lance must have done his job. He tried to get through. There were shots that caught him but only grazed him, just more scars. Nothing life threatening. 

He kept moving through the fighting, a load had given up and surrendered while others fought to the death. 

“No!” He heard a cry, then he felt a wetness spread as he keeled over onto the ground. 

 

Lance was looking for his last target. Who just happened to be in the middle of the fighting, the only person who seemed to have a smidge of control over what was happening. He took him out but not before he had taken a pistol from one of the cadets he had forced to fight, who was clearly terrified and wanted to be anywhere but where he was. 

He took the shot but at the same time, he had fired the pistol. 

It then occurred to him who the officer had shot. He had been too in the zone to recognise the armour. Kolivan shouldn't have been there. Kolivan who was crumpled on the ground as the cadet ran towards him. 

The flash of Voltron forming over head signaled the start of the end. He jumped over the debris he had used as cover and started to run, using a blade Kolivan had gifted him for their first year anniversary. Blood gushed everywhere, but all that mattered was getting to Kolivan. The blade transformed into a damn sword and he cut down every human from the empire that stood in his way, the ones that ran were smart. No one with a brain would stand in front of the assassin that had just lost everything. 

He didn't look back. A trail of blood had followed him since the age of sixteen, what he had just wrought was nothing compared to what he had already done. But this? This was pure anger. Anger and so much worry. 

He reached Kolivan and the cadet was sobbing over him, keeping pressure on the wound. Kolivan opened his eyes wearily, and weakly smiled, much like Lance had done only a few days ago. 

“You came,” Kolivan smiled, “My last sight and I’m glad it's you. I didn't mean to leave you. Injust wanted to see you again. I love you too much ” 

Lance felt tears well up and start to fall fast. He knew from the position of the wound that Kolivan wouldn't survive. They wouldn't be able to get to a healing pod in time. 

“Hold me please. I don't want to go alone,” Kolivan said, his words getting fainter. Tears fell on his skin and Lance moved Kolivan so that he was against him. He no longer cared that Kolivan’s blood was staining his suit. It was soaked in blood anyway. 

“I’m not going anywhere, love, I’m here.” Lance let his hand run over Kolivan’s hair and placed a small kiss on his forehead. Then, one last kiss on his lips while Kolivan still had the energy and blood. Kolivan’s heartbeat was slowing and Lance needed to let Kolivan know. 

“It’s ok to go, I love you and I’ll meet you again when Mamora comes for me too,” Lance sobbed. He felt Kolivan hold his hand. 

“I can wait. I love you,” Kolivan whispered. Then his hand went slack as all consciousness left him. It took a few more minutes till his pulse stopped completely. Lance held him through everything. Kolivan didn’t die alone. Lance wouldn't let him. 

“Mamora, please, guide him to the peace he deserves and when it's time for me, let me see him one more time before I pay for my sins,” Lance recited. 

Lance protected Kolivan’s body throughout the battle, as well as the cadet. The cadet must have been new. He looked like he was fifteen and that was his first sight of blood. As soon as the battle was over, he picked up the comms and requested help. One hand caressing Kolivan’s face despite knowing it would never smile again, the other wrapped around the cadet who was sobbing quietly. Apologising and letting it all out, that they had his family and if he wasn't here they would kill them. 

Antok was the first to find Lance. He picked Kolivan’s body up and walked with Lance and the cadet to the castle ship. Lance learnt the cadet’s name was David. He hoped he would be able to find his family safe. But his heart was full of grief. He would have to tell Morag. How would he tell a ten year old that one of their fathers is dead?

Lance was dimly aware of following Antok to a private room and sitting down next to the cold body. That's all it was now. Everything that Kolivan had been was now gone. He felt others approach him and hug him as the tears ran out and the pain and grief took over. 

He organised the funeral and asked for Morag to be with him. The joy on her face when she finally saw him soon fell when she couldn't find her daddy.

“Hey, sweetheart, you know me and your Daddy have been fighting? And that sometimes, people die. That they go and meet the Goddess Mamora?”

Morag nodded solemnly, her mind already working out what this talk was about.

“Daddy? Daddy is meeting?”

Kolivan’s death hurt more than any physical injury he had ever had except watching his daughter crumple and fall into him, crying her heart out. He caged her in his arms. She was half his height already and her tail was wrapped around his wrist. Lance shed tears too. 

“I’m here, shhh, I’m here. Daddy would want you to cry, let it out. I’m here. Shhhh,” Lance soothed. He just hoped the plan that Voltron and themselves had spent so long on would go fine. 

Morag cried herself to sleep as he carried her in his arms. Just as Kolivan was placed in the cremation burners. 

Lance sat watching the flames, and people brushed the ashes into a container to be taken away. A few hours later, two crystals came back with a purple hue to them. Both of them attached to chains so that Kolivan would never leave them again. 

Morag had been put to bed when he had felt the first shockwave and he felt something so terribly wrong. 

He ran to the control room passing a port to the outside. Where a mushroom cloud was forming. A continuous explosion as the senate of the Empire of Humankind as well as the surrounding areas _burned._

Disgust coiled inside of him and he looked on. These people deserved to have someone watch over them and sent a prayer to Mamora, asking for forgiveness. Most of the people were innocent. That was a war crime. 

Anger filled the void that grief had created. He marched through the halls and anyone who met him ran with fear. The doors opened and he saw Allura celebrating with other leaders, with Coran at the side of the group, a look of loss etched into his features. Coran’s age was finally showing as he distanced himself from the group to force himself to watch the destruction Allura had brought upon them. 

“Allura, that was a war crime and you know it,” his voice was like hewn rock, jagged and sharp and oh so cold. 

“We had no other choice, we had to be sure-”

“Had to be sure? You killed innocent people. People who happened to live there? That's not how you end a war. Sure make sure they don’t come back, but you should do it the _right_ way. Compassion and negotiations and diplomacy, not more killing. What does that say about you?”  
Lance was truly seething. He didn't want this to be his legacy and certainly not Kolivan’s.

“It tells me you're just as bad if you think killing is the answer here. Gods, you're just like the humans I have spent my life fighting. So wrapped up in a war you never see the people most affected. Well news flash for you Princess, you were always safe up in this castle while people died for a dream, not you. So fuck you.”

“Same here. You never liked us. You never even set foot on the battlefield! A real leader dies with their people. You just hid and played puppet master.” Lance hadn't even known that Keith was there. 

“We will be heading back to Earth, officially ours. We liberated it. We want nothing more to do with space or you. Whoever can join us but we were more successful it seems in a few years than you over literal centuries. We leave as soon as we can. Don't expect us to be civil,” Shiro added tersely. 

Lance felt so much disappointment when he recognised some of the faces. He shouldn't have trusted them. 

Dinner that night was tense. There was a clear division between those agreed with Allura and those who agreed it was wrong. Majority of the galra and all who worked with Lance or Kolivan were against what happened and openly mourned for all the lost lives. Acknowledging it was a war crime. 

They left soon after. Allura opened a wormhole that took them to their solar system, taking those who wanted to join them. Glad to be rid of Earth. Lance felt his heart sink when they returned to Earth. Kolivan wasn't there to see freedom. But the cost that Allura paid with lives that were bought with a war crime was too much for him to feel joy. 

He promised Morag that he wouldn’t leave for space again.


	6. Carry Me To My Love

When Lance set foot on Earth, he found it still spinning and more or less safe. There was its own government who hailed them as heroes. Lance didn't feel much like a hero. He just held Morag’s hand and kept walking. 

Their base in Cuba was still a hub of activity but they used it as a temporary home. None of them wanted to leave each other after all they had seen and done. They all had some form of PTSD and Lance had Morag to keep him grounded while he looked after her. He couldn't teach her what Kolivan could, but he wanted her to know what it was to live in peace. After all, Havana looked good this time of year.

It took some time but they got some housing near the water. It was remarkably safe after a few species that had evacuated to earth managed to find a way to neutralize the radioactivity. He had always wanted to go to the ocean. 

He imagined what it would have been like to have Kolivan here, mock defeat in the water as Lance and Morag tag teamed him in the water. The infectious laughter as they got the others to join in, cooking over a fire as they ate food and being a family. The feeling that the war was over and away from them. 

Instead, he had a chain with Kolivan’s crystal hanging from it. The knowledge that the war would never leave any of them and that his bed would be empty of the love of his life. 

Just because he no longer wanted things, didn't mean that Morag would be deprived of it. She saw the happiness when Keith and Regris got married, accompanied by two of the babies they had freed one trip. Their mothers had died through complications and Keith refused to let them go. Regris fell in love the second he laid eyes on them, one human child and a galra - hybrid kit. 

Morag saw peace, having known nothing but war. She missed her Daddy and asked about him often, enjoying the stories Lance would tell of him. How they met, how they fell in love and how they loved her so much. 

Though Morag was the sun embodied, she couldn't entirely chase the darkness from Lance. It wasn't her job. She was his daughter, and he loved her and just wanted her to be happy even to his detriment. When Kolivan died, Lance felt like he had lost a part of himself. Kolivan’s crystal never left its place just by his heart. 

Days turned into weeks, which turned to months then years. Lance loved watching Morag grow, looking after the twins as their own fathers took some time to relax. However Lance was plagued by nightmares. He barely slept most nights and on occasion Morag would slip into his bed to be hugged because both of them missed the missing member of their small family. 

One of his saving graces was Coran. He had left with them, ashamed of what Allura had chosen to do throughout the war, bound by a promise to her father. She had grown to ignore him, only taking his tactical advice. For him it was like a loss on its own. Since he first came out of that altean healing pod, Lance had found a family in him, the crazy space uncle as Lance fondly called him. Morag also liked to listen to his stories and even got involved in the Monsters and Mana games they sometimes played. 

Coran also listened to Lance, his fears and his regrets, and all of his sorrows. He listen and talked and didn't pass judgement. And in return he shared his own fears. They knew that the one place they wouldn't be judged was this small community they had made for themselves. 

He wouldn't lie though, it was nice to be within walking distance of Antok and having him as a friend again. He helped to raise Morag, teaching her all the things Kolivan should have. He made sure that three crystals had been made from Kolivan’s ashes. Antok deserved to have his best friend around. 

He hated that he felt lost and alone. Morag and his friends became his saving grace, watching her grow up. She built up muscle and was as tall as he was now, three years on. No one interfered with Earth and Morag had the freedom to be herself. She still held his hand and wrapped her tail around his wrist for comfort when the pain grew too much. 

Shiro was probably the only one who could help Lance from the slumps. Both had suffered and had always been each others grounding element. It helped when things got bad, for both of them. They sought out the help together and went to the therapy sessions in the city over from them together. But nothing they could do would fix the hole in his heart, his life and his world. He knew he was withdrawing, watching the world go round. For Morag, he held on, being the father she deserved. Praising her and letting her be. Giving her everything he didn't. 

The years drew on. Soon enough Hunk and Pidge started to work where their base used to be, making lives better rather than fighting. Others came and went as they pleased. Soon Morag was able to move out on her own, with the world at her feet. Lance was proud but the house felt lonelier than ever. If Kolivan could see him now, he would be so disappointed. He had tried to live but the most he could do was take up knitting. So he knit. He sold what he made and it occupied his mind. 

Holidays and events came and went and he started to get old. The years of fighting took its toll on his body, his cybernetic spine started to fail more often and he was sick of his back being cut up to get to it. He knew his body was failing. He wasn't scared of death. He believed that he could possibly glimpse Kolivan before he paid for his sins. Maybe Mamora would take pity on him and grant him that. 

Lance had taught Morag the old ways, just as Kolivan had taught him. He made sure she wouldn't fear her own passing or his, that he would die younger than a galra would. 

Morag was there in his last days. He loved hearing all that she had to say, what she was doing and that he was proud. And to give her his will, he left her a lot. He just wanted his body to be made into crystals to give to herself and his friends. He let her know that she would never be alone. 

Lance was the first to die out of those who had survived and come back to Earth. He died in his sleep with Morag holding his hand at the exact moment the sun set and the moon rose. And in that moment he felt at peace for the first time in too many years. Morag made sure that everyone carried a little bit of him and never forgot the two people who had given her hope.

 

Lance saw a woman sitting upon a throne of skulls on a dias, the vast blackness surrounding them.

“I guess this is it then. You can send me where you choose, a hell dimension after all the things I did. I just ask, for what little good I did, may I know if my husband, my mate, is happy?” He bowed his head and let her gaze fall over him. He felt the judgement pass over him. He felt his shame and disgust, even if everything he had done was with best intentions, he would never be able to wipe the war crime from his soul. 

 

The woman smiled and then light blossomed from the her. She looked more like the depictions he had seen of Mamora. She smiled and went to embrace him. He looked down at himself and saw himself as he was when he had Kolivan by his side. He didn't feel any metal against his muscles in his back. He felt young and he saw Kolivan waiting for him. He offered his hand and they started to walk. 

“You waited for me,” Lance said, breathless and happy. 

“Of course I did my love. I would have waited longer too.” They shared a kiss, both finally able to find peace.


End file.
